Don't Blink

Paranoia at it's finest. ...Or is it?

Little girl, waiting there
sitting in her broken chair
rocking forward
rocking back
holds her knees
till they turn black
looks around her
no one's there
then, who is that?
Over there
staring at her
from the dark
staring, staring
eyes wide and stark
she gasps a breath
and grips her knees tight
rocking, rocking
all through the night

Someone's watching
someone sees
someone sees
her blackened knees
her bloodshot eyes
and blurried gaze
someone's been watching
her for days
should she run?
should she hide?
should she act
as if she'd died?
maybe instead
she'll just stay there
and keep rocking
in her chair.

 

9:58 PM - 1 Comments

Reviews

[Cliff Rhodes]

Hello "Playing in Traffic",
This is a really myterious poem, has a psychotic flavor that builds up and gives wonder about who, when, where, and how. Good job and we are still breathless, waiting.

[The realest]

Yeah i agree great read for me "black knees" fantastic image
look forward to reading more

[Seth]

That was a good poem!! i just loved how it flowed keep it up!!!

[Lee W. Deason]

Good stutter step beat. Original.
Good imagery.

Someone's watching
someone sees
someone sees
her blackened knees
her bloodshot eyes
and blurried gaze
someone's been watching
her for days
should she run?
should she hide?
should she act
as if she'd died?

I liked the build for the peak.

[Kaelani]

wow i love the layout its really good keep it up

[Anya]

gosh that is brilliant...i loved every minute of it...you make the scene come to life and its impossible to stop yourself from picturing it in your minds eye....the poetry is simple yet has such a set plot and point, and has no conclusion which leaves room for more imagining...

i loved this part especially:

should she run?
should she hide?
should she act
as if she'd died?
maybe instead
she'll just stay there
and keep rocking
in her chair.