Here we are, both questioning yet

not sure where to turn. stuck but unwilling to quit

I could never pray for nothing

Always wanting to dive in

But is now a time that I am ready

To bear a lovers burden 

Your arms, they grip tight, but your spirit is weak

And these words in my head I am too fragile to speak

To love you is risky but let go I can not 

I feel a lump in my throats and my stomach's in knots 

To grow serious and to care means I have something to lose

I don't want to lose you but should I lose myself too

To give unto you my newest devotion I open myself to break

Different from before I may beyond shatter 

Between myself and you I feel I'd choose the latter 

But should I let go and save us both now

But risk always seeing your face in the crowd

And wondering how we could have been 

If I wasn't too scared of being broken

I now appear strong as I fight for love with you 

But I'm weaker than words as I fall into you 

How can you catch me while I'm catching you 

Can broken pieces form a whole pair 

And what happens if you leave me for another

Questions swirling within my head 

Make me feel this impending dread 

As I fear for me but am scared for you 

Should i let myself be broken to avoid hurting you 

Will it be you who breaks me or will I break myself 

I am terrified of giving in and terrified of bowing out 

I shouldn't pray that it's not serious

For I know that it will 

Be all or nothing give and take 

And that thought gives me chills

These questions leave my mind racing and my heart pounding within my chest 

You are more real than the others 

So what will happen next

This impending sense of doom as fate lays on the line

Should I give up something great and heed the warning signs 

Can I bandage up your wounds

With you tear open mine

I'm afraid that if you break me I will never be fine 

I don't want to live forever alone 

But how do I open up

The leap of faith scares me yet

As this chasm opens up 

Now my eyes stay glued to every door

Hoping to see you go by

And when my phone lights up I hold my breath

Hoping it's you just saying hi 

I sit here still in tragedy 

Hoping and praying you'll be good to me

A promise that may not be yours to keep

But still I beg that you don't ruin me 

And now I stand along the ledge 

To jump or stay I have yet to choose

And either way I'm bound to lose 

Yet still I cry for you at night

And wish for you to hold me tight

My dreams in sheets

You cover me 

And hold me until the morning

I should not hope for you to comfort me 

When you have your own monsters to hide from yet 

Can I keep you safe without harming myself 

Or in loving you shall i lose myself 

Am I one to be sad to lose 

If every time it's you I choose 

So lord above will you guide me now

I'm drowning and I don't know how to get out

Help me see how to catch my breath

And stifle images of you in my head

Searching my chest I now find it empty

My heart to you I have already given

Without knowing or choosing so 

I guess I won't be letting you go

But please I beg don't let me lose myself 

In loving you I will want no one else 

Yes I know that does include me 

But thinking of you I forget to sleep

And I am now skipping meals waiting for your calls 

Without your love I become nothing at all

But it's a love I don't have 

But yearn for yet dearly 

Somehow your presence makes me see things more clearly

Like how I was lost and how I need you

Yet I am still stuck and don't know what to do

Without resolution I am now driven mad

Love me or leave me either can't be as bad

As this quicksand of waiting for you to decide 

Please let me know

Let me live

Let me die