uncontrolled attacks

the feeling of being torn up inside,

eating my soul from the inside out,

Im growing cold in my paralyzed phenomenon,

growing stronger yet weaker in the same sense,

i feel this monster growing in me,

it took root along time ago,

but now its showing its face,

can't seem to break it down,

 its roots have already enveloped and killed my heart,

like a thousand stab wounds,

Thorns pierce my heart,

leaving me physically cold,

these are what are uncontrolled attacks,

each one is a growth spurt in the monster inside me,

i cant control it and its already taken over me,

like a deadly vine it squeezes the life out of the victim,

and soon i will no linger be here. 

Reviews

[Vidya Bacchus]

Sometimes more often than not we are our own worst enemy .Sabotaging ourselves at every turn.I understand this well .

[David Scott]

Tweety, you have capture the feeling of anxiety and depression in my life experience. Usually love, loss, trauma, pain, illness are mixed into this attack as well...
I grew up reading scripture. I learned we face spiritual attacks in our lives. We do not fight flesh and blood. We do not fight the battles most people imagine will be the war of living. We find the attack from within most often.
I believe this is because we are spiritual beings and not creatures of some organic accident.

I like your poem because it tells the truth. It is not the whole truth, but it helps others who suffer feel like they are not alone and just maybe they are not crazy... :)

Yet, I have reached a point in my life where this acknowledgment is not enough. There is more. There is hope. Yes, I said it. The "vine" can choke you out or you can graft your soul to living hope and thrive once more. Maybe there will still be times when this insidious creature tries to choke you out again, but there will always be a way to survive and even thrive. I think this path is different for everyone, but there is only one top of the mountain and all paths will lead there eventually if we keep going "upwards and onwards", to quote C.S Lewis loosely.

I am glad I read your poetry today. You voiced pain I had never been able to find words for...

[Sarah]

thank you David. your kind words mean alot. this incideouse creature in side me will never go away though. i have tried many times and these feelings i bare daily. with every thing i have i try to fight back but there is most the time im too weak. thank you again for reading and feel free to read more.

[Sami Khalil]

"Thorns pierce my heart,

leaving me physically cold,

these are what are uncontrolled attacks,"

Amazing how you sum up complicated emotions in few lines...Bravo.................

[Sarah]

Than you Sami. if you put things together right then you ca sum up even the most complicated emotions.

[Sami Khalil]

So true. You are welcome...:).................