Thrive in her Tears

Written for the ""Serenity" contest.

Thrive in her Tears

 

she could often be found down by the sea

on nights such as these, and holding sweet flowers,

 

she'd sit for many long hours, talking only to the moon,

and wishing hard to have her lover home soon;

 

because everything had changed that day, when those

strange beings landed here, causing every joy to diappear

 

so then all that were brave set sail towards sure oblivion,

but praying faithfully for return one fine day, upon a renewed wave

 

and their wives and children all stayed with fond memoriers saved

as nothing was certain, nor written in stone, merely etched in hearts

 

and just outside, down by the water sits she, holding tight to those flowers

given to she by her kind lover, as they parted ways, and still they thrive in her tears 

 

5-24-08

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[mick weller]

There is something incredibly moving about this piece ...
her tears nourishing the flowers and all
I see a ghost-girl always forever waiting, pining ... unable to move on
`memoriers` - memories?
`merely etched in hearts` is the clincher
really good how the lines lengthen - feeding more in fo ...
you have a wonderful way with words man!
thanks for that - really cool!

[Fabian G. Franklin]

Apart from a few typos, this was an exceptional read. I wonder if this young maiden ios old enough for a paramour though, I like the part of the flowers kept lovely by her tears.

[Kara Emily Krantz]

"she could often be found down by the sea

on nights such as these, and holding sweet flowers,"

i just adore that beginning. it sets the tone and the scene so wonderfully well. strange beings? all i could think was that aliens had come, haha. oh well :) my brain's not fully working right now :P

lovely, ethereal piece

[[untitled]]

way cool. I really like this it's very serene and relaxing. I would love to have someone read this to me while i fall asleep it would make for nice dreams. Good write!

[MrJodie]

I enjoyed this, James. It whispers of tragic love and historical events, Pocahontas comes to mind, but it also sounds like a personal narrative about someone the writer admires. It's quite beautiful.

Great work, my friend. Keep up the hearfelt quality! I love it when you speak what means most to you.

Love and light, dear ones.

[Touché Armada]

Cooool, always love the seaside, flowers by the seaside are peculiar to me, but thats only because I never imagine wharfs or jetties and few flowers grow near open beaches because of the salt and the wind. But thats why I like it because its so impossible, I like impossible.. This write reminds me just a little of one of my writes... morning tears. Though your write adds more of the tangible to the impossible I think that happens when you write from the onlookers perspective or at least make it seem as such, and make the onlooker seem solid, at least more solid than that the observed. Enjoyed.

[Dani California]

I'm thinking this has historical significance, though I'm not certain which event is being portrayed. There are so many instances of of thieves in the night ripping loved ones from their homes, families.... from biblical times to slavery to hitler....

or is this is about soldiers leaving for war after 9/11? Or any war for that matter.

Whatever the significance, it's wonderfully written. Full of the grief of losing someone which i think is the worst kind of pain... and you've portrayed it quite well. Felt it...

Excellent work James! Good luck in the contest!

[[untitled]]

I think this is the longest (by word count and not volume of meaning) which I've read by you, and still very prolific. Good luck with the contest, and thank you for sharing.