Take Me To The River

Take me to the river, where the rolling waters play

   To the banks of liquid laughter, where sorrows wash away

Take me to the river, to the mountains tears in motion

   Where I can frolic in the shallow, wade my troubles to the ocean

Take me to the river, where stream becomes its rage within

   The rapids of letting go, where new can begin

Reviews

[VennelaMargame]

The musicality of this poem is very nice. This is what I was referring to with my suggestion of regular iambic hexameter (or Alexandrine meter) in my review your poem about the flower in the cobblestones.

Insofar as that, it sounds rather like a folk tune, or spiritual, since the meter sounds close to the classic ballad form when read aloud. Again, however, don't be afraid to branch out and try new tropes. Wading and cleansing oneself in a river is a classic theme, but one that's been diluted by it's frequent and familiar use throughout the ages. The best part of poetry is coming up with something new to do with language, that hasn't been seen before. Make your reader go "wow!" and not just nod as he recognizes the familiar.

I hope I don't sound too critical in saying this. I like to get into how a poem is constructed when I review, and one of the most important things is freshness of trope and theme and language. Best wishes.

[Denham Cole]

great review

[Coyote Poetry]

Nice flow of words. Felt like a song. I like to escape to the river and nature. Allowed us to find a place to begin again. A nice ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I feel the flow of the river of your mind and emotions in this delightfully fun poem. Well worded description. There is more than water flowing here.