Melancholy Mind

Red and purple polka dots 
                        splattered inside my eye
A woven web of satin string 
                          stretched across the sky
Tiny tears rolls down my face 
                            into a pond of pain
The rambling whisper of regret
                             calling out my name
Dainty daffodils 
               painted periwinkle and blue
Grow in the vacant space 
                       where my love used to
A faded and forgotten puzzle
                          its pieces on the ground
Beneath the feet of the following
                                scattered all around
Footprints on a beaten path 
                          headed towards a wall
By order of a melancholy mind 
                            imagining it all

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful and sad poem. I like the artwork and the thoughts in the poem.
"Dainty daffodils
painted periwinkle and blue
Grow in the vacant space
where my love used to"
Thank you for sharing the excellent poem. The above lines are my favorite.
Coyote

[Elle Thompson]

There are some really great images in this, it was such a pleasure to read. However, I think you could have come up with a word other than melancholy to use in the second to last line, something that didn't disturb the rhythm so much.

[Pete Langley]

There is a lot of originality in this poem, interspersed with one or two weak lines - but I think overall the piece works quite well, Keely. I think you are beginning to recognise where you need to edit. It won`t help much if I identify the faults - we have to become our own best editors. Well done. P.

[Veronica Chandler]

I really enjoyed this write which has me thinking, feeling and remembering; the lines,
"The rambling whisper of regret
calling out my name"
Speak to me and evoke deep feelings; splendid write.

[kublakhan27]

You have a great feel for rhyme Keely...you also have a knack for writing things that I relate to...wonderful piece.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Indeed a somber and thought provoking piece that skips along smoothly Keely

[Pale Rose]

This is a very thought-provoking piece. I really enjoy it but I'm not sure what it's about. I imagine that it's someone in emotional pain and they see the nature around them seemingly in pain too. I could be horrendously wrong, though, and I hope I didn't offend you with my guess XD I really like the word choice, regardless.