Dark and Empty

Even when I appear happy

                    when there is a smile on my face

There is a sadness below the surface

                    a dark and empty space

The echos of my memory

                    bounce you off the walls

Triggering my addiction

                    sending my emotions through withdrawals

I have come a long way

                    yet I am still in the same place

A thousand miles to nowhere

                     at a slow and steady pace

Dark and empty on the inside

                    over you on the out

Dark and empty and full of s**t

                     still in love without a doubt

Reviews

[Ravyne Hawke]

Break-ups are tragic. There is always a little piece of you that still loves the one you've broken up with, even if the reason behind it is valid. I can so relate to this and I think that's what makes this piece great. Your rhyme and meter works well except for the line "over you on the out" for some reason that line caused me to trip over it. I think it is the wording. A very successful poem!

[Perkele.7885]

Two people inhabiting one body! One still in love and one not! What is going to happen when the one that is not in love, the over him part meets Mr. Where Did You Come From Mister Oh, My God Are You The Handsome One? I see a big turmoil of all turmoils coming on! Some closure is called for here before chaos tears someone apart, don't you think? I like the way that you write, KeelyJane!

[Mother Maggie]

The true power of the soul is taking these memories and embracing love again--fully and without reservation. If I had not taken that step, I would not have my beloved Russ and I would not be here now typing these words. Love is a bittersweet gift, yet without it we cannot truly live.

Namaste and Blessed Be

[TL Boehm]

The echos of my memory bounce you off the walls. WOnderful line.

[Ency Bearis]

A dark thoughts but lighted up of what inside of you and expressed well, impressive poem.

[Astro]

Well I'd say there are some great and genuine thoughts expressed in this one KJ. That last line, says it all doesn't it. Those things, or people that we can't seem to let go. They drive us mad, and the knowledge that we are mad, drives us madder still. A very apt notion expressed in fine verse. Good stuff.

[gombeggar]

I like this very much ...and the setting of the lines works well here for some reason I can't explain...likened to a conversation within one's thoughts

[Dana Alsamsam]

mm this is such a tragic place to be in- knowing that a relationship is really hurting us and we won't get anything out of it yet we love the person too much to let them go so we just keep running in place in front of foggy mirrors. keep writing out the pain, love. *hugs*

[Baby Ricochet]

Great rhyme Keeley. If you've had more than three lovers in your life at least one of them jerked you around.

[shallimarRose]

The right margin aligned lines are their own poem.. This is kind of the dark cloud with the silver lining in reverse.. I like the way you did this one.. thanks for the rr.. shallimarRose

[Mark]

The changing justification of the lines really adds to this very heart pulling write. It made it read easy, and smoothly. Good work