The Mime

Everybody feels pain
No one dies without a scar
We all are colored melancholy
different shades of who we are

Each one of us has lay beneath a dark sky pillow
and seen the storm surround our flowers
We have all been picked and vased
dripping sorrow in midnight showers

Every one gets hurt
all of us black and blue painted
We all know sadness
been introduced and well acquainted

We all play the mime

I feel your pain 

as you feel mine

Reviews

[h d e rushin]

I am one who is haunted by Dickinson. So forgive me if so many poets here sound like her. Which has
little to do with her and everything to do with me.

The last stanza was, in fact, Dickinsonian as she also would use distinctiveness and apartness
to detail an action or event. This is very nicely written.
Who gives a s**t about spelling.
dana

[B-poet]

A distinctive and profound truth that connects each and every human being regarding suffering to the
fullest extent. Great work. :)

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

We are all connected by one powerful force and we all bleed red... we may all have different minds but the hearts beat to the same rhythm. Nice work.

[Pure Hope]

Definitely strong, subject is something that is easy to relate to, viewpoint is not only positive but a helpful one. I like this piece.

[Simon Welsh]

Nicely written! Love that last stanza.

[Mother Maggie]

Beautiful work. We are all one in sorrow and in joy and in fact we cannot truly know the precious nature of joy without knowing the sting of sorrow. This poem is very deep and wonderfully written.

2nd stanza, 1st line 'has lain' is correct.

Namaste and Blessed Be

[quinfinn]

i have to go with Sarah on this one, her analogy is perfect. and i must agree with frieda that this is one of your best.....nicely penned, Keeley!

[Frieda P]

So true Keely, I really like the way you colored this one. Many have met the acquaintance more often that others. I think this is one of my favorites of yours thus far. Nicely pen'd.

[Rita L. Sev]

"No one dies without a scar..." Yes, that's so true. Those scars are our best lessons. Well done, Keely.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

This is indeed accurate...and sometimes all that it takes to talk a person off of the proverbial "ledge" is to know that others feel the same way as they do. I know this feeling, have known it, and I know that others have as well. I like the flower imagery, and the rain; was quite fitting in context of the piece. Fabulous concept!

Only little tiny issue...the 1st line of the 2nd stanza is a little odd. Each one of us--us taking thing in a plural direction--has "lain" or "laid" I believe, though I would check the spelling of those words because i tend to avoid the lay/lie/ly debate. Anyway, this line needs a little work.

Overall, very nicely done! Just one little bobble in an otherwise beautiful piece!!!!