Nine Weeks

Looking at tomorrow, into hopeless oblivion

how can I not? Not scream. Not give up.

Hands shaking.

Nightmares raging.

A never ending flow of tears.

The pressure of living is braking my bones.

 

I don't want to be the owner of my actions.

Desire and what's right poison my disfigured mind.

Crutch.

Coping.

It was my way to survive.

I believed I couldn't live without it.

I used to organize those

feelings into a straight line.

Savored the blood that ran.

So now I'm without a cut but

I feel torn inside.

 

I want to fall in side.

Burn every restraint,

lose control,

never say sorry,

and live for once.

The belly of the sun can't put light inside.

I feel as if I'm dying.

 

I want to give up,

and pass the pain on.

Will it to anyone willing to take it on.

 

Yet I don't want to look inside a soul's resting place,

and feel the shame again.

The hate and anger are breeding,

infesting,

dominate.

Every emotion becomes huge,

every idea life or death.

 

It's hard to breath under the weight.

I'm filled with shame!

The sorrow never ends!

I can no longer live in this body!

So many words I’ve wanted to say over the years just

bounce

around meaning nothing at all.

Until they hit a nerve.

    First

Nov 21, 2010

• The Withdrawl Of Thyself
• Nine Weeks

2nd

Sep 22, 2011

• Dear Diary
• Nine Weeks

Author's Note

1.First
Nov 21, 2010
The Withdrawl Of Thyself

2. 2nd
Sep 22, 2011
Dear Diary

Reviews

[Invisible Ink]

This is pretty strong with some nicely crafted lines... I think if you expanded more on the strong parts of this poem and shaved away some of the weaker, it would be really good. Me, I NEVER see a poem as finished, so that's why I give this advice. Some of the stronger parts I thought were these, and I loved these lines (but they weren't the only ones)...

I don't want to be the owner of my actions.

The belly of the sun can't put light inside.

So many words I’ve want(ed) to say over the years just - (small correction)
bounce
around meaning nothing at all.
Until they hit a nerve.

[Vinod Kumar U K]

The strong message oriented write it expressed the dence depth of the desire and loss of love, lovely presentation.

[Jvonne]

This piece has a lot of emotion and one is left with a feeling of awareness after reading it. You’ve opened a window and allowed the reader to truly share in a difficult life experience.

“ So now I’m without a cut but I feel torn inside” I like the choice of words you used here. It portrays how mental pain can be so much more unbearable than physical pain.

Good job!

[cfix]

Such an emotional write here.

[SpokenWord]

This shows your talent with words and painting mental pictures for your readers. I could feel the break down mentally, the hurt, and even the denial this character was expressing. Excellent poetry.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

I like the meaning and the shape of this poem.

[Joel Alvarado]

WOW, this was great! I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. The endless sorry, the wanting to give up and give in. You definitely rely the feelings of someone going through that. The wanting to let it all go, or hand it to someone else. Simply excellent. Great job!