Loving you was Never the Plan

Loving you…

was never in the plan.

You pulled up in your ride,

offered me a drop�"

just a ride,

just a conversation,

just a moment.

But moments are dangerous.

We talked.

You listened.

Asked questions like my answers mattered.

Gave respect I didn’t have to teach.

Do you know how rare that is?

I hadn’t felt that in so long

it felt… surreal.

Like my heart forgot how to respond

to something gentle.

I’ve been around you before�"

but this time?

The touch of your confidence,

that cocky glide into the cockpit of my guarded world�"

had me wanting you.

And I had to ask myself…

Is this love?

Or is this lust dressed up in healing clothes?

See, I’ve been dumped by a man

who keeps walking back in

like he never set fire to the place.

Burnt�"

but somehow still reaching for the flame.

He that bad driver.

Missed turns.

Crashing into my trust.

And you?

You offered me time.

At this point,

if a good man gives up on me

I can’t even blame him.

So is it me?

Or is it my trauma talking?

Because I don’t know how to move forward

without flinching.

But you�"

you awakened the me in me.

The soft one.

The hopeful one.

The one I buried under “never depend on a man.”

They say don’t depend.

I didn’t.

I just played the game.

Played along well.

Because trust?

Trust gets you fucked.

But with you�"

it feels real.

And that’s what scares me.

I was so close

to risking it all on you.

But will you hold my heart

without dropping it?

Will you hear the pain

I don’t say out loud?

Can you love me now

and love me steady

all the way to the end?

Can you see forever�"

before we even begin?

Because I cannot

ride another rollercoaster

just to be stranded at disappointment station.

I’ve had too many of those.

Sometimes I’d rather stay stuck

than spin again.

But still…

I want you.

All to myself.

And loving you�"

was never in the plan.