Magic Mirror

The Magic Mirror from an age long past has been found by a distant relative of the witch Maleficent in the modern age.

Let me tell you a story. Not so long ago and perhaps not too far away the magic mirror was inherited by a distant relative of the witch Maleficent, a woman of 24 years by the name of Diabolica. She insisted on being called Diane instead which was perfectly understandable because the name Diabolica seems like quite possibly the worst name for anyone and predisposed said person to a life of evil. Years had passed and the mirror was mired with dust. Covered by a sheet and left in some dank corner before Diane finally found said mirror. They had many interactions since then and most of which occurred like this:

“Mirror Mirror on the wall, where the hell are my car keys.” Diane asked.

The mirror reflected because that’s what mirrors do. Then it considered for a long moment, something that mirrors do not do. 

“Mmmmmmmmm……. Have you checked your……. Hmmmmmm…… Left pocket?” The mirror was proud of this and seemed to gleam a bit. 

“Oh, Yes, yes of course the pockets I have in this dress that I don’t have pockets on, why didn’t I think of that?” Diane said sarcastically. Since the mirror couldn't understand sarcasm but had known Diane enough to know that she was a bit upset it continued to try to solve the problem which is something that mirror cannot in fact do. It also continued to reflect which was the one thing that the mirror was actually good at, being a mirror and all.

“Mmmmmmmm………… Hmmmmmmmm…….Mmmhhhmmmmm… Right pocket?” The mirror gleamed again, proud of itself. This usually worked. Given that Diane was almost always in jeans, and if the left pocket failed, well, the right was usually a sure success.

Diane stared at the mirror, a fire burning in her eyes. She was silent and raging.

“MMmmmmmmmmmMmmmmmmm……………….”  The mirror, sensing her emotions and afraid she might cast a spell at it, tried to hide. Being a magic mirror it was quite difficult and the mirror only succeeded in making its face fade until it wasn’t there anymore. Only the reflection of the room was present. It reflected a bookshelf and dresser behind Diane, The corner of the bed was visible and several fashion magazines were resting on the foot of the bed.  A fan rested in between the bookshelf and the dresser. Diane moved the magazines so they were no longer in view and sat down on the bed.

“Please just tell me where they are, I need to get out and I need to get to the gala.” Diane pleaded to the mirror. She clasped her hands together, and waited. The mirror's face slowly began to reveal itself again, tentatively becoming visible.

“Y-yes mistress Diabolica.”

Diane frowned, “I told you, please stop calling me that.”

The mirror frowned and fearfully tried again. It racked its frame and glass to try and find some sort of way to digest and consolidate information. It was a mirror though so it was at a loss so it tried again.

“MmmmmmMMmmmmm……Hmmmmmmm……..MMMmmmmm…….Left pocket?”

She punched the mirror.