It's nice, but sadly it's not a haiku. Damn, I wish I could give a real review. Screw it, I'll make something up on the spot. *clears throught* This was so incredible. When I read this, I was like "Oh my god, I understand the meaning in life!". Then I began to cry from how wonderful it was and started to eat ice cream....
-Red
Actually, I've recently been told a few times that Haiku doesn't necessarily need to be set out with lines of 5-7-5 syllables, it simply must have 17 syllables in total. In any case I like that you gave the structure a twist, and I thought it was a really nice Haiku, simple.
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