Sequel

Against my better judgement, here's another break up poem. As the title says, it's the sequel to my poem Over.

Maybe at first I was not clear,
But I have much to tell you
That you don't want to hear.
I'll try to give you a clue.

Once you were all I wanted.
To you, I never lied.
My pursuit was undaunted.
To make this work, I tried.

Why can you still not see
What I've been trying to say?
I don't want you with me.
Will I forever be your prey?

I guess the fault is mine.
My message has never been clear,
But even you can see our decline.
Finally I'm being sincere.

There is someone new.
She's my needle in a haystack.
This end is long overdue,
and I don't want you back.

Author's Note

Again, ignore the lack of rhythm. It's about the message once more.

Reviews

[Darl1ng N1kk1]

Harsh, but good. You're right, you weren't very clear. But I also ignored a lot of signs, trying to follow your advice to not be negative.

[TBird J.]

Ouch! Such emotion flows through these words. I think the rhythm works, like I said these words flow!

[cruzpr89]

oh wow harsh poem but its very good i liked it a lot.

[Emotionally Blank yet F..]

WOW! really harsh for sure, but really good at the same time. there's def. no sugar coating, and i find this good in the sense you are able to build a strong poetic story without beating around the bush and making the message ridiculously clear. Really good. Good job :)