The Golden Gate.. my not so secret suicide.

The Golden Gate.
I could just jump,
End it with one swift action.
I think about the life I've lead,
The way I've left it.

Life wasn't always hard,
I made it that way.
I made the fairy tale in my mind,
Loving it in sweet misery,
All the while hoping it's just a dream.

It isn't.
This is reality.
My reality.
It might be lies,
But my mind has made it to be true.

I swing my leg over the rail,
Keeping my grip tight,
As not to fall...yet.

It must be when I am ready,
When I am certain.

I lean agaist the rail,
I remember the news.
1,000 deaths a year,
I remember Leana's face,
Happy in the scene of death.

I snap out of my daze,
To a sharp sound.
A man approaches,
His steps sure,
But full of caution.

I despise this man,
Everything about him.
And yet...I envy him.
For being so sure of himself,
For knowing what's reality and what's make believe.

He begins to talk to me,
I ignore his words.
They will make no sense anyway,
Even if I try to listen,
He's just another bird in the sky.

Amist I was ignoring him,
Lost in my last thoughts,
He had approached.
He was to close,
I scrambled to the side.

My shoe caught a bump,
I slipped, my feet falling off the firm edge,
I grasped for a hold,
Then I realized what I was doing,
I had come here to die.

At that moment I realized I wanted to live,
Life meant more to me then I realized despite all it's pain.
The man's hand reached for mine,
I flung my hand up to catch his,
He caught my fingertips.

We both grasped for a hold,
I lost my grip on everything.
Reality, his hand, the ledge, even my make believe world,
I finally let go of life,
And I knew it was time.