Happy

            Yes
            I'm okay
            I promise
         No, nothing is going on
            I'm fine.
        I'll let you know if I need you
               Goodbye.

        Hey, can you show me how to..
        Never mind..
        He's clearly busy

        Guess what! I...
        Never mind..
        She's busy as well

       There doesn't seem to be a point
       Should I even believe?
       Why really try
       There's just no point
       Like I'd ever get by

       I have to be quick, before it's too late
       Well, why question anymore?
       I've chosen my fate
   
      So here's to you,
      Cheers, mazel tov, ciao, adios
      Vision's getting blurry
      I'm nearly comatose.
     
     One last hurrah,
     Before I go,

     Yes
   I'm okay
   I promise.
 No, nothing is going on
      I'm fine
I'll let you know if I need you,
     Goodbye.

Reviews

[R.E. Ray]

I read this poem three times. So much more depth to this piece than one might expect or see. You artfully use a whimsical nature to convey serious emotional distress and pain. You also emphasize the self-doubt and low self-esteem common in these situations (i.e., "never mind" and "should I ever believe"). Still, I picked up a trace of "hope" - a struggling person reaching out. Why else say goodbye more than once here? Another good work from you.

[Riley]

Thank you so much! That's the pinnacle of what I go for in some of my works.

[Levi Levin]

Very good rhymethic piece of work!

[Ethan Thompson]

Sound's familiar. Good job.

[Wonderland Asylum]

Very nice, Hannah. Your word choice, and the way you formatted it really makes this poem what it is. There is a sense of struggle, internally, from both ¨people¨. This is by far my favorite poem of yours.

[DiskartetHaraya]

Appreciating how this makes use of line breaks to cut the persona's thoughts and showing their hesitation. The indents are also nice.

[Alao Taiwo]

nice. i like the ingenuity you put into it. the style. "making sure you're okay,
please let me know if you need me
Goodbye"