Boogeyland Adventures

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Boogeyland Adventures 

In the faraway land of Boogeyland, which borders the entire multiverse, a grand gathering of the most monstrous, bone-chilling, scary-assed boogie monsters was being held in the capital city of Boogalousia to determine who is the most terrifying boogeyman who lurks in bedroom closets and under the beds of frightened children with vivid imaginations.

It was on the ninety-fifth day of the gathering that the final five boogie monsters, through a series of gruesome challenges, combats, and tests of wills, were left standing bloody and worn on the boogie woogie torture mats. The boogie doctors tended to the fiendish five’s wounds and reassembled all their missing pieces. They needed to be all stitched up as they entered the final round, which would determine the baddest, meanest, multidimensional boogeyman of all time.

……

Milrot Sourmilk was annoyed, outraged, and quite frankly pissed off at being passed over in the boogeyman competitions. The Boogeyman Bureaucratic Committee profusely apologized for leaving him off the competition rosters, even though he was the original boogeyman. If not for him, there would be no boogeyland, boogie monsters, or boogie bureaucrats. The committee stated that technically, he was a demon, not a boogeyman. Sourmilk spat in one of the bureaucrat's eyes and said,

“It was I who defined what the nature and purpose of the boogeyman was to be: To scare the bejesus out of children who are misbehaving or are showing or becoming inclined toward evil. And on the rare occasion, if they are beyond redemption and incapable of being scared straight, they are then consumed and their spirit carried off to hell. I abandoned my demon horns and name (Belzabub Bloodrock) to become a hideous monster that frightens misbehaving children, and with the last of my demonic powers, created Boogeyland and all you boogie fools. And now you deny me my place in boogeyman lore?”

“You have a sacred place in boogeyman lore. You are the template, the first-generation boogeyman, a boogeyman’s boogeyman. Any contest to classify your standing in the boogeyland community is beneath you. Please accept our apologies for not clarifying your revered status or why no invitation was granted.”

Milrot Sourmilk smiled. He decided not to eat them. He knew they were blowing smoke up his arse, but he liked the color of that smoke. He said,

“I have one condition: I want to be the one to announce the winner.”

……

 

Pricilla Pooperdinkle was the last remaining boogeywoman in the boogeyman championships. She was one of the fiendish five. Unbeknownst to the boogeyman bureaucrats, Pricilla was a shapeshifter and witch as well. This made her a formidable and powerful boogeywoman, giving her a significant advantage over the ordinary boogeyman. Not all boogeymen were equal. Of course, it was cheating, but rules are made to be broken, and she enjoyed doing so. She loved scaring children with a devilish streak and occasionally consuming the incorrigible ones. She also befriended and mentored young girls she believed had boogeyman potential and hidden witchy powers. She was about to leave the competition; risking her life for a meaningless title wasn’t worth it. Being one of the fiendish five was all the status she needed. Then she heard that the great demon-turned-boogeyman, Milrot Sourmilk, was going to present and declare the winner, which changed everything. She decided to risk it all and be crowned the greatest second-generation boogeyman of all time.

……

The morning of the last challenge arose. Each Boogeyman was to fight to the death, and the Boogeyman left standing would be declared the winner. But the only one who appeared in the arena was Pricilla Pooperdinkle. In the middle of the night, in the form of a giant praying mantis, she devoured them.

Milrot declared her the winner, and they both bedazzled each other. They declared themselves King and Queen of Boogeyland over the Council's objections. They ate them. All's fair in love and war…

 

Author's Note

let it rip