(70) Demon's Brew

Bar tender, pour me another drink
For within this dank pity I wallow
Fill the whiskey full to the brink
So I can drown away my sorrow

Once, I was a man able to keep my cool
Never one for the rage to over take me
But bad times came and made me a fool
I allowed anger to always leave me empty

Come, I want you to fill my glass once again
I will be the one who decide when enough is enough
I want to swallow up when times were good, back then
Because now this life has become much too tough

Then fury visits me and his glass I hurl and smash
Unsteady on my feet I find my way out the door
People try to keep away, as at them I will lash
So now going home, I find myself crawling on the floor

Once inside, I will open another bottle to begin anew
They try to say I have a problem, and they are wrong
I can stop drinking, I can give up this Demon's brew
Because this man is able to stand and be strong

But in reality, I can not sleep for my spirit is weak
I say I need no one, because I fear my own shame
I want to stay drunk, because then I need not speak
I scream at the world when I know that I am to blame



copyright Chris Smith 1998

Author's Note

I battled with my Demons, I was one of the lucky ones and won.

Reviews

[emmajoy]

A friend, a dear friend who'd been a druggie for quite a while but had grappled his way out, said, 'I did what I wanted because there was no friggin' alternative - then i opened my eyes .. all I have to do now is stay alive.'

He's dead now.

Great and brave writing here .. takes strength to write like this. Keep strong

[Hayley]

This is very powerful. The story of your strength is admirable.

[Pollyanna]

I'm a former bartender and both my stepdad and ex-husband were alcoholics. That being said, I feel you have done a wonderful job conveying both the mindset and emotional struggle experienced while in the grip of this particular demon.

[HB]

Nice ending couplet. All in all, a good write. Glad you beat it. :-)

Notes:
3rd stanza: "who decides" (s/b plural)
I would suggest dropping the "back then" after "times were good". I know you're trying to rhyme it, but it actually looks like that's what you're doing. And it sounds fine without.

4th stanza: maybe "People try to keep away, steering clear of my lash"

[Emily B]

glad you found yourself on the other side

[Pebbles]

raw write my friend ... just brilliant :)

[Zeitgeist Manifesto]

This is a dark, but inspirational story of self.
It was terrific from the beginning til the end.
This would be perfect for the stage.

[FJ Davis]

Know this field of battle well; took many a wound wandering into areas where I was outmanned, outgunned and outsmarted. Had The Forces of Light not taken pity at my utter stupidity, I would be languishing in unpleasant places, today. You tell it true, Chris.

[Shane Williams]

really like it!

[Maggie]

A perfect description of the struggle with addiction. Well done :D

[darkness*star1985]

lot of poeple can relate, very powerful write. Great job