Shrinking

The worst thing about being use to the sadness and depression is not being able to truly feel it anymore. It seems silly until you get to this point, but i miss the days when i cried instantly over the small things. Now the "jokes" don't hurt me the way they use to. I no longer cry at the sound of you voicing your disappointment. I just push it aside and ignore it. It no longer bothers me that nothing i do seems to be right. See I've come to a stage in life where all i do is shrink smaller and smaller every time my "feelings" get hurt. I try less to please you and somehow it works. I don't stay on top of things anymore and it feels so good. Laying in bed all day doing absolutely nothing but pity myself feels a hell of a lot better then getting up and trying to fight the depression. Hell i play into the depression these days. But the best thing i do is shrink into nothing when your voice becomes stern and your words become heated. 

Author's Note

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