Not Known By Many

Faith is to believe what you do not see; the reward of this faith is to see what you believe. ~ Saint Augustine

“You look so young”

In her mind she thinks “but I feel so old”

     No one imagines when they are told

Joints swelling with fluid, pain felt sharply

Her eyes saddened at her inability

     To do the things she used to do.

Wrenching pain in her life~ it intrudes

For each happy moment there has to be

     A moment of pain known to so few, not to be seen.

For she smiles a smile to hide the hurting inside

She wants no piety , no sympathy,

     For all of her life, she has carried much pride.

Her strength and resolve once admired by many

Now a body riddled with pain, fatigue, and disease

     Life taken away, she feels wronged unjustly.

She hides the pain as well as she can

Till the muscles spasm and she begins the dance

     Trying with might, to end them abruptly.

White knuckles protrude as she grasps any object

Trying to work through the pain as it rips

    Through her body, with no seeming outlet.

Sweat and tears, exhaustion and pain

“Why me?” she cries, and remembers again

     “We are never given more than we can carry“.

She wishes she were allowed to say when

The pain was too much, the tears cried in plenty,

     Feeling the hurt known not by many.

The vessel that carries the love in her heart

Damaged, tattered, and worn

     Her life ripped apart.

She smiles through tears so her children don’t feel

The pain that she has, the pain that’s so real

     She can not face the fear it imparts.

Toward a life for them~ she knows not to impede,

Their lives engaged with “the sky is the limit”

     Through all the troubles she wants them to succeed

Her prayers ring the house too often repeating “don’t let them suffer”

The pain that she feels through her damaged body.

     Wanting for nothing more, nothing other

Then her children to have life free of the pain that she feels

She cries out to God, "Is this your will"?

     I will carry this pain, this lupus you gave

Please remember I did so as I am laid in my grave.

Please spare my children, protect their young bodies

Please let them not hurt from this pain that I carry.

Please let this dear God be one of those things

Please let this dear God be not known by many.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note

not worried about the punctuation ~ honesty is appreciated, sarcasm and rudeness can be directed elsewhere. Thanks for reading!!!

Reviews

[Last Lying Look]

amazing poem. it was kind of sad though. I could feel the hurt in her. Very good write. :D