The Classics

Archimedes in his tub
Said: "Gladys, dear, give me a scrub."
She rubbed, and when she'd raked him raw,
He told her, "Sheathe that iron claw!"

Poseidon in his frothy lair
Despised his bowls of fishy fare--
"Bring me meat from pastured beasts,
Or I shall die from finny feasts!"

Bacchus heaved a heavy sigh,
Lamented how his taps were dry;
He toured his vineyards, saw but vines
Too sickened to bequeath him wines.

Daedalus, ancient proponent of flight,
Watched his son tumble out of sight,
Buried the boy on the isle where he fell,
And died soon thereafter, a hollow shell.

Ganymede, handsomest of men,
Caught Zeus's eye; with lustful yen
The god as eagle seized the youth,
Made him his fawning f*g, forsooth.

Reviews

[Neha agrawal]

This is wildly clever — biting, lyrical, and unapologetically sharp.

[Wilyem Clark]

Thanks. I like your own use of miscellaneous poetic constructs... variety leads to insights!