Futility

Once more unto the social breach?
A rift, alas, there never was--
The curtain wall remains intact,
Same as always. It cannot be
Surmounted, sapped, or vaulted over;
No aerostat may rise above
Its airy rim.
O! Inside (I've heard) it's paradise!
A spectral land of warm embraces,
Sleepy Sundays, caring kisses,
And admiration for one's deeds.
There, the joy of love's neverending,
Companionship is guaranteed,
As is acceptance--
Things undeserved, that I haven't earned,
Things I've learned to do without,
Having knocked on doors
Innumerable,
Having waded through downpours
Mighty enough to sculpt a mountain,
Without a single answer ever,
Nor offer of shelter from the storms.
Why stir the pot, why rock the boat?
I can and will survive outside,
Where blizzards howl and kai-yotes moan,
Domain of cactus and withered dreams,
While in the distance, screams and cheers
Erupt as skies explode in tears
And star-sparks drizzle down to earth.
I watch them too from far away
(Must be an insider holiday)
As I abandon all expectations.