Simple Words on a Page

Simple Words on a Page

She was broken,

Beautiful.

Simple words on a page.

An honest 

Bill of sale. (If there was such a thing)

Etc.

Etc.

In a cracked laugh, 

I decided the dry spell

Would end. Must End.

Drinking.

Gulping.

Swallowing the world.

There was a time,

(not long ago),

The mountaintops

Burned infinite closer

With every hurried hoof.

Hearts happy bleeding

On the seeing the divide.

It's flow going east

And to the west.

A sly smirk,

A breaking willow

On the edge of a sunset.

It is there we die willingly.

Reviews

[W. Barrett Munn]

Hello old friend,

I spend many of my Friday afternoons participating in Rattle Magazine’s free critique of the week, kind of like an example of a critique session in a Masters of Fine Arts program.
One repeated advice I hear about the poems sent for critique: who is the you in the poem, followed by: that mystery can be resolved in the title. Example: Feelings I Have For Marylou Snurdburger While On the Road to Tacoma
The critiques are on YouTube at 3pm cdt and are totally free.

This is a really neat poem that would be better if you let us enter the poem with you: right now it’s a private poem like the kind you hand to your girlfriend on her birthday. To make it public requires some specifics.

[CD Campbell]

I think you're right. It could use some more public and less private. Im just getting my feet wet at this point. I'm half tempted to steal that title about Marylou Snurdburger...she sounds like a dandy! Thank you Mr. Munn

[Delmar Cooper]

Gee C.D. words in a row, well kinda rowed up. Maybe the way a crossword puzzle is rowed up but still puzzling. I like the Rockies , but I like watersheds in general and the Rockies are real specific ( it's all down hill from here podner) .
So maybe it is about where water goes , who knows? Maybe the ocean is salty cause of all those weeping children? Kinda doubt it but like the notion.

So it is about a cowboy writing on a broken horse as he paused by a stream on one side of the hump.
Will he sing before the final revision?

[Eilis]

I think any poem has room for tinkering, but also in this one I felt that the poem was sort of referencing that space where we let go of our sense of needing perfection and commit to the act of being creative. Sometimes the desire to create our masterpieces paralyzes us and we vow (even if only in vague quiet thoughts) not to move forward until we enter that zone of effortless creativity.

In this I saw your beginning as playing with idea, or inspiration, and with the “etc etc”almost faltering and stopping the process because it was maybe not coming out as hoped. I felt a pivot there and there’s the will to move forward. To keep forging ahead in spite of the inspiration not being fully formed. As the poem goes on I see it as sort of assessing the art in a way. The purpose and conviction of continuing in things even when they don’t come easy. The wildernesses we conquer and then bring into ourselves and find new heights we might have missed if we hadn’t pushed ourselves through the moments where hesitation feels natural.

I like the push and pull between the interior and exterior lives. The ways that tangible things shape us spiritually and the way elusive things do the same but also a a way that is distinct to that mystery. Love and beauty and spirituality— mountains, rivers, sunsets. Things and words that each person makes their own through the path of life. Words and things that can have heavy meaning but mean something different to us all. Creativity is that way too. We all have a specific reason, purpose, for entering into this space and attempting to articulate what the world has shown us. It requires both vision and will, hope and skepticism (I think) to get the right balance. Not saying this was your purpose on writing this just that that was where the poem led me. Into the mysteries of being a creative human. Especially when the creativity feels somewhat elusive and impish.

The poems feels like it has two parts to me, like I denoted at the start of my babble here. And that sort of alludes to that space where we are reaching towards something that seems to be trying to hide from us. That is my take anyway. I like the interspersing of worlds in that view. And more simply the willingness to let the world and experience in to change us. Glad to see you writing again.

[CD Campbell]

I think you're right. Its scattered. Starting a journey to a place, but arriving somewhere else. Starting simply then trying for the profound.

Great review as always there Don. I always appreciate your thoughts. Its not bad for a start after a hiatus, but the sea legs need to get used to the land again.

[Delmar Cooper]

Hey all that merde I sent you? This is what I meant to say. Just read all these words instead ok?
Delmar