Mr Smooth Himself

Sex is a trap, children are a disease.

Mr Smooth Himself

In the beginning was the word,

And, the word was without form,

As God cut a silent, but deadly fart!

Mr Smooth himself, made a fast exit!

The angels quietly pulled out lighters!

Pretending they were at a rock concert!

Fanning the air, in rhythm to the music!

Casting tearful gazes, upon the Heavens!

The Heavenly Choir picked up the tempo!

Belted out the loudest songs they all knew!

Whilst God made his most, merciful retreat!

Hanging the moon in orbit around the earth,

Apologizing the entire time, while chuckling!

Promising To Buy The Stronger Air-Fresheners!

God Blessed Humanity And Hung The Rainbow!

Insisting everybody is full of it in his universe!

Bullshit being the source of sparkling laughter!

He sent Baby Velvet Jesus to remind humanity!

To be kind and share their words and play nice.

To always remember life demands a sense of humor!

The worst of our jokes always hurt for a reason!

Unable to see, what’s Missing from this picture.

The devil hates people always Laughing at him!

The harder he tries to laugh the worse it sounds!

Schrodinger's Cat coughing up another hair ball.

Refusing to Learn how to laugh at himself again!

He Hid Underground Practicing Atrocious Farts!

Then God sent Velvet Elvis, to Inspire everybody!

To Put a Little More Swing In Some Tired Old Jokes!

Swing Your Hips and Keep Paying It Forward Suckers!

Baby Velvet Jesus and Velvet Elvis are Mr Smooth himself!

Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,

Velvet Jesus just left Chicago, and he’s bound for New Orleans,

Hellllllll Yeahhhhh!!!!!

Then out to California through the burning forest and the pines!

(ZZ Top)