Dream Theater "Carnival Games"

A sequence of fun and games.

The dream carousel spins

Where all fantasies begin

Dream theater is next up

Let the fun begin

 

We begin the night at a fair

Music and laughter all around

Tons of fun to be had

No sad faces to be found

The main attraction is next

A ride to touch the cloud

A gal to my side

Moments to make anyone proud

 

Ferris wheel starts to spin

The city below our feet

With her beautiful smile

It always leaves me in defeat

 

We continue to go around

Taking in the sites

With romance in the air

Give her a kiss, I just might

 

I start to move in

As the ride begins to slow

Over the loudspeaker we hear

“It's time to go”

 

Just my luck

Opportunity now gone

Guess I'll wait till next time

As dream theater continues on

 

Author's Note

Re-write almost completely due to being unhappy with original

Reviews

[Bethany Woody]

I like this one too. There is the unfinished scene from the dream and the series is unfinished too, kinda wraps it all together. Looking forward to the next episode, your imagination is the limit or are you writing from actual dreams? Now there would be a good twist for these......

This one had a few small hicups for me.
--The time has come About time for the show- the double use of the word time, just kinda threw it off and this is the begining where you are trying to hook a reader. Maybe, The time has come, the bgining of the show....
--Will I get alive- think this should have been Will I get out alive...
--And what do we see- you have yet to introduce your riding buddy yet you speak as if she is already there, we should be I...
--Dressed in a lovely dress- again it is almost a double use of the same word, just to make it interesting use something other then dressed, wrapped, covered, clothed. Dictionary.com has a thesauras(sp?)
--Guess I'll wait next time- Guess I'll wait until next time..

Okay I got a little persnikinty with this one and I'm sorry. It's still agood and I think it makes a great idea for a series.

[Lady V]

Brandon....................You better keep them coming. I like the flow of each part and I am waiting for the 3rd one.

Live, Love and Learn

Lady V

[Seriana]

You're on a roll boy! Lovely.
I do agree with Blue Jean Baby though, there were a few double words used. I think if you changed them up, it'd flow alot better.
Thanks for the dream sharing though! This is fun. :)

[Seriana]

You're on a roll boy! Lovely.
I do agree with Blue Jean Baby though, there were a few double words used. I think if you changed them up, it'd flow alot better.
Thanks for the dream sharing though! This is fun. :)