CAUTION

The Man that wore a trench coat

CAUTION

He had an ankle length black trench coat and always could be found on the park bench. He left at 10 and came at 10. He and the coat fitted like Cindy’s feet and the glass slipper. He never took it out, even on scalding summer days.

Girls swooned and gossiped, the guys slapped his back and ran away laughing. Immature brats flung their shuttlecocks at him and yelled at him to pick them up. He returned silence and nothing else.

He never noticed. Or did he?

There was a massacre at Central Park last night. Twenty died, ten missing.

Author's Note

So whaddya think?

Reviews

[LOfCharlemagne]

Seems to sudden, my advice would be to not come out with what happened so fast. Lead up to it. Instead of saying "Twenty dead and ten missing", you may like to try "Countless dead, and the damage is still being rounded up. We may never know for certain". Try making it more suspenseful. Why is he wearing this coat and standing there? Why are the children mocking him? Does he have motivation to slaughter everybody that mocked him? Its a very good concept, but I feel you could make it truly better :)

[XxTheFallenAngelxX]

Thank you for the review :) Yes, I agree with you too.