One Week

We lasted as long 

as the bruise beside my n****e.

My lonely companion in the bathroom mirror,

while I waited for your renewal of its sting.

I woke this morning and noticed,

It was gone.

Author's Note

a 5 min write to get my head straight, but as always I welcome critiques and help to improve my work. Thank-you to any who read x

26/11/17 - have deleted some lines from the first stanza, I think it works better without frills. Thoughts?

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

amazing what comes in five minutes....the most free and natural verse---the pounding of the heart---and the honest missing of those we loved----
"it was gone"----seeing just one face in the mirror in the morning...the good bruise turned to the sad ache of longing.
j.

[Coyote Poetry]

Morning light bring real life to our vision. I liked the honest thoughts leading to realistic ending. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[Beccy]

A relationship; the beginning and the end perfectly captured in just a few short lines.

Wonderful word choice and I agree with all my very good friend jacob has said.

Beccy.

[Pete]

a take no prisoners write. deeply effective and packed with raw emotion.

[wordman]

loneliness is hard to deal with,but we survive

[Paul Bell]

Do you know. This is stark and to the point.
One great night, that should have lasted longer.
But like the love bite. It faded. Great write.