Chapter 1

Today was a half day of school and I was in a good mood. Having a half-day means that I can achieve more work. But going to first period would mean it’s time to start the day and it would be a long day. First period was Geometry with Mr. Lova. The period dragged on forever but once we got going on work, the time flew by. Walking to period four, I felt very rambunctious. I normally don’t feel like this but for some reason, I do. My mind was focused on going to Health. But I got this weird vibe. It was coming from Toby.

Little did I know, he was calling my name and I was just blanking out. He didn’t get my attention until he turned around and was walking with me. It caught me off guard but he was just trying to be friendly with me.

“I have a question for you and I’ve been trying to get your attention but obviously your head isn’t here on Earth at the moment. Will you go out with me?” Toby asked.

It shocked me like a speeding bullet making a hole in its victim. A rush of adrenaline was pumping through my body.

“I’ll have my answer after advisory.” I said before walking faster than normal.

The moment I was finally waiting for was here and I didn’t have the answer for it. 

I was able to focus on the Health presentations that were going on. I presented mine yesterday just to get it done and over with. I needed to talk to my friend about what just happened because honestly, I am still shocked. Health classed passed through time. The majority of the class, I was going through how to tell my answer. What I find sweet about him is that even though I haven’t told him my answer yet, he still walks me to my class. I definitely now know that this kid is madly in love with me.

English was the last period before advisory and before I had to deliver my answer. It was very weird because a senior was practicing one last time before he had to present to the panel of judges. And we had to score him so we could see and understand some of the pressure that he is going through. While going through the Q&A round, or at the end of it, the bell rand to dismiss us to advisory. I would normally go to my locker before advisory but because we had a half day, I’ll go before I leave for the day.

As soon as I went into advisory, I desperately needed to talk to one of my advisory buddies, Bianca. She and I talk about everything including relationship issues or problems that we are having. And right now, I have a relationship problem.

“Bianca, I have an issue. The guy I like just asked me out and I don’t know if I should go out with him or not. I really like him but I’m not sure I’m ready for a relationship. My life revolves around school, bowling, and babysitting, what should I do?” I asked.

“Who do you like?”

“His name is Toby MacStar and he’s the boy I’m not supposed to be around but he asked me out.”

“Well, don’t let this opportunity pass you to go out with him. You obviously like him and he likes you so go out with him. If I were you, I would take the offer.”

That put me in a thinking-of-a-list mood of the pros and cons. I was in my own little world when the bell rang and the time when I had to give Toby my answer. I opened the door of my advisory and walked to my locker which was literally right outside of my advisory room. Toby was already standing next to my locker waiting for me.

By the time I got out of advisory, my headphones were in my ears and music was playing. I acknowledged Toby but I was more focused on getting my homework and the things I need to work on at home. Once I shut my locker and locket it, I stood up and took out my ear buds.

“I will go out with you but we will need to set some ground rules. I think the best way to do that is by going to my house and sitting down to write down the rules so we can both agree.” I said, trying to not let my nerves get the best of me.

He wrapped his arm around me as we started heading towards his group of friends at their lockers. I had to make sure it was okay for Toby to walk home with me. Getting the okay from my mom made me feel welcomed but she wants to talk to Toby on Sunday after she gets off of work. I was trying to enjoy the moment that Toby’s arm was around me but my mind was all jumpy. To feel safe, I wrapped my arms around Toby’s midsection while he was standing and goofing off with his friends.

It was about ten minutes after ten thirty when I had to pull Toby away from his friends if I wanted to get home on time. We didn’t really talk much when we were walking but mostly focused on traffic and time. One thing we did do was hold hands all the way until we reached the house. He spun me around and inched closer to me until our lips touched. I have never noticed how much hazel was in Toby’s eyes. I also gave him a long hug before we entered Hell land a.k.a. my stepdad being home and always being grouchy when someone he doesn’t know is in “his” house. It was really awkward going in and having Toby being stared and sniffed down. But the animals and my stepdad will have to get use to it.

Once we stepped into my house, we headed straight to my room. Yes, I know the rules about having a boy in my room. The door stays open. It’s not like Toby’s gonna take advantage of me. He’s not like that. I think he’s one of the sweetest most mature boys that I have ever met. We sat on my bed, trying to think of what to do first. The one rule I always had was homework before snack or “playtime”. So I guess it answered our question. I started taking out my Forensics binder and then my English folder. If I didn’t want to get behind, I would have to finish my rough draft of my research paper and an eportfolio assignment to type up. Toby had his own schoolwork to do.

“I was just wondering and I know that this is just out of the blue, but what dress size are you?” Toby asked.

“That’s really, really odd but Imma size 18 because of my fat.” I replied while keeping focused on typing up my eportfolio assignment for Forensics.

What Toby didn’t tell me was that he was surprising me was that he was surprising me by taking me to his junior prom. His sister was coming to his mom’s house where they’ll get me ready. There came a time where I was tired from typing and uploading things into my eportfolio. Toby was staring at me, watching how fast I work when I have a half-day off of school. We touched on gazes before he pulled out his phone.

I got comfy on my bed while I waited for Toby to finish up what he was doing. Toby packed up his bag and shoved all of his books in his bag to clear off the bed. He then crawled up to where I was laying and put his head onto my chest before the lights went out. I awoke when I heard the phone ring and finally realized what time it was. I could’ve sworn that it was one o’clock a minute ago instead of almost being three. I didn’t want to move but I had to.

“Do you want to join me to go grab my brother?” I asked.

He got up without another word and waited for me to lead the way. I was so happy that Toby was here with me and was spending the night. Apparently this was a dream that was coming true. We walked to my neighbor’s house where the bus stop is and to see Angle. She is the most important thing in my life besides Toby. It was nice to be able to show Angel that I split my time between the two but she adores me.

What really surprised me was that when my brother’s bus came, Toby held my hand while we were walking back to my house. I unhooked my hand from his so I could help my brother with his home work. Toby understands and lets me do what I have to do when he’s not there. Homework only took about a half hour including going over his spelling words.  

After homework, I found Toby sitting on the couch in the living room, listening to the music of the birds. I walked towards Toby, wanting to be in his arms and take the pain I’m feeling away. The pain was from the divorce of my parents. It was taking a toll on me and I wasn’t prepared for it. Bu Toby knows how it feels to go through it and is helping me get through it. I was wrapped inside his arms and it felt amazing because he wasn’t fighting back. Toby was just holding me, with his head buried on mine, softly crying. We both sat there just holding each other before I realized it was time for dinner. I didn’t want to move but I knew I had to.

You could tell that I was so out of it. I didn’t want to move and I didn’t want to make dinner. I also had a headache that wouldn’t go away. Even medicine and rest didn’t really help get rid of it. When it was time to eat, I called everyone to the table so we could all eat together. This time, I’m refusing to eat. I’m not exactly hungry and eating in front of Toby made me nervous. Both of the boys were really hungry and watching them chow down made me sad but also made me realize that having Toby in my life is a good choice.

“Come sit down and eat with us,” Kyle said.

“Thank you for asking but I’m good. I know that you’re gonna want more to eat.” I replied.

“That’s not an excuse.” Toby piped up. “Come sit on top of me so it would make Kyle and I very happy.”

Without a hesitation and with the rolling of the eyes, I surrendered to Toby. He put his arm around me so I wouldn’t fall off and Toby even fed me but I wasn’t really hungry. I actually had a major headache that wouldn’t go away. I picked up his fork and knife to begin cutting chicken, then dumping it in honey mustard sauce. With his mouth open, Toby was waiting for me to feed him. Then, he fed me even though I wasn’t craving any food. I rested my head on his shoulder and just closed my eyes to rest. The next thing I knew was Kyle asking for more and Toby just looking at me.

I got up to feed more to Kyle. He is having a growing spurt. I then actually got more for Toby so he and I could share as I sat back on top of him. It was only me who ate but Toby wanted me on his lap while I was eating my dinner. After doing the dishes, both of us resorted to the couch to catch up with the latest news and the weather. Once my mom came home, everyone was happy except for me with my headache and Toby finally met my mom. Toby and I ended up back in my room for the rest of the night but he didn’t stay with me. I didn’t stay in my room for long as I needed to take a shower and brush my teeth. The hot water beating on my shoulders and head felt really good. It released a bunch of tension that was building up. While I was in the shower, Toby went to go talk to my mom.

My mom and Toby sat down in the living room to talk without the distraction of the television being on.

“Linda, I’m concerned about Lucy. She has a headache but it wont go away. I’m afraid that it would turn into dizziness and then possibly fainting. Lucy didn’t really wanna eat but I forced her to eat and sit with me and Kyle.”

“Well,” Linda said. “She is really down about the way she looks and the number that the scale read. Lucy has been trying to lose weight for the past four years. To me personally, I wouldn’t worry about it. She has the headache because her body hasn’t gotten the food that her body needs. She will come to her senses at some point in life. If you see her getting worse, tell me about it.”

“Ok. But there’s something else I want to talk to you about. May I take you daughter to the prom tomorrow night? I’m buying everything that she will need and my sister will be doing her hair and makeup.” Toby proposed.

“I give my approval of Lucy going to the prom with you but you need her permission more than mine.”

 “I intend this to be a surprise for her. So I want to make sure she doesn’t know about it. I would also like your permission for Lucy to sleep over my dad’s house after the prom and the weekend.” Toby asked.

“Lucy has my permission to sleep over if she would like.” Linda agreed.

Toby went back to the hallway where my room was. When he saw that my door was closed, he knocked three times before AI let him in. I was in the process of getting into my night clothes. The headache still hasn’t gone away. It was pounding badly that I just wanted to sleep away the pain. The pain of the headache. The pain of the divorce and the stress that school and home could wash all away. Maybe Toby could take the “pain away” if you know what I mean.

I ended up opening the door, and stood in the doorway with a moopy look on my face. I picked up my dirty clothes and threw them into the wash. My hair wasn’t brushed just yet because Toby knocked on my door while I was getting dressed. To be nice, Toby decided to brush my hair. It felt nice to have someone else brush my hair instead of me. He was so gentle and it was actually soothing for my headache as it really did hurt to turn my head. One of the many skills Toby picked up from his sister, Heather, is braiding of the hair. He took his time braiding my hair as it also took me time to think about the ground rules that both of us will agree on.  When he was finished, I just rested my head in between his legs and let a tear trickle down my face.

I wiped the tear away like it was a booger coming out of my nose. It was close to eight before I got up from sitting on the floor. I got some stuff done before I told myself to calm down and be normal. Toby went into the bathroom to change into his night clothes so in case one of us is ready to call it a night, we can just do so. When he came back into my room, he made sure that the majority of his belongings were back in the right spot before climbing onto the bed with me. I crawled up into his chest to use it as a pillow and I also wanted to talk to him.

“I’ve been thinking,” I started to say. “I finally have the ground rules that I think you should be aware of. Rule #1: only walk with me to my classes if you want to. Rule #2: Always hold hands. Rule #3: I like to be ‘surprised’. Is that okay for you? I was trying to think of some simple rules that would apply.”

“Those are some good ground rules. I think I can go by them. They’re not that hard.” He answered.

I remember just laying there until I fell asleep and those three words I haven’t heard in a long time, “I love you”. I guess I must’ve said it back because Toby’s head went into mine before both of us were out for the night. It was a long night as I kept tossing and turning and couldn’t get to sleep. Having Toby by my side made me feel good about myself and safe.

Just when I finally got to sleep, my alarm clock went off at five am to wake both me and Toby up for our showers. I went first as I was more awake and focused. My braids never dried from the night before but I had to take them out so I could wash my hair again. About five minutes into my shower, Toby knocked on the door and asked if he could go pee real quick. It was all right with me but I had to move farther into the water so Toby wouldn’t see me naked. It was kinda awkward but it you gotta go, you gotta go. When I got out of the shower, I wrapped the towel around my head and my top area as I walked back to my room to start getting ready for the school day. Toby was waiting patiently on my bed for me to return so he could go take his shower.

By the time he got out of the shower, I was already dressed but my hair, makeup and jewelry was all what was left to do along with getting my backpack ready. Toby came back into my room with a towel wrapped around his waist, and sat on my bed. He them got his clothes out for school and started to get dressed. Only dressed in his jeans, I asked Toby to brush and braid my wet hair again. For the first time in a while, I actually felt loved and everything finally sinking in. I don’t remember the last time that this has happened. Both of us finished getting ready for school.

Before we left my room, Toby surprised me by giving me a kiss. To surprise him back, I kissed back as both of us needed the reassurance of each other. My mom was gonna drive us to school but instead Toby is. My mom is coming with us because she needs to take the car back home so she can go to work. When we get to school, normally we would sit down in the cafeteria and be with our friends but Toby wanted to spend more time with me before first period started. I ended up at my locker first and while I was there, Toby went to his. Toby has a half day today because of junior prom. His mom wasn’t there yet so instead he texted her. Her reply only took about two minutes to come in and then you saw the smile on his face.

“Just a heads up,” Toby warned me. “Today after school, my mom will be driving you back to my house. You get to meet my sister.”

Meet his sister? I think the nerves from my stomach are climbing up to my throat. The day was gonna go be a long one. By the time first period started, I was already bored. I’m always intrigued by meeting families but I’m actually scared of meeting Toby’s sister. It was around third period when the juniors got called down to an assembly and Toby was able to sneak away to see me before he had to leave for the day. I did end up focusing on my schoolwork more than ever. When it was time to leave, I remembered that Toby said to go with his mom. And he also reminded me via text.

Toby’s mom is very sweet. She is a teacher but she’s also more than that. When I entered her room, she was locking the doors for the weekend. His mom kinda gave me a heads up as to when we were leaving because she started grabbing her belongings together. I followed her out to the car where it was parked in the front parking lot. It was easy to spot by the way Mrs. MacStar was walking. Once we got into the car, the radio was automatically on and my mind was able to drift off onto another planet. It wasn’t until we pulled into their driveway where reality actually hit me.

Toby was waiting on the front steps for me. It actually made my heart skip a beat. Maybe he was gonna introduce me to his sister. I was dying to meet her. He came over to me and embraced in a big reunion hug. The hug got the fireworks going and it was like they couldn’t stop. Toby took my hand and backpack like any gentleman would do and brought me inside. Heather was sitting on the couch awaiting my arrival. She was almost the spitting image of her mother.

“Hi, I’m Heather. We have to get you upstairs.” She introduced herself.

I was confused on why I was going upstairs when I thought I came over to hang out with Toby. Apparently, Heather had something to show me. I didn’t mind following her but it was just weird because the house wasn’t familiar to me. She led me into a bedroom and locked the door behind her. There was a smile glues to her face. He surprise was about to be revealed.