Chapter 8

“Hey, bud. Someone’s in a really good mood but you don’t need to pull me. I know where you live so it’s not an issue.” Toby said.

Kyle stepped foot in the driveway and took off into the house as it was homework time. When Toby and I entered the house, Kyle was sitting on the couch pulling out all of his paper work from school. I was able to spot his homework while he was still going through his bag. I explained to Kyle that everyone is gonna do homework including me and Toby before we all go outside into the fresh air. He gave me the look of are-you-serious. I gave him a stare back which made him march to the table with his homework. Toby helped by grabbing our backpacks that were placed on my bed. To help me concentrate, I put my IPod in my ears but with one ear out as I needed to listen for Kyle. My homework was very little and it didn’t take very long. As for Toby, that was a different story. He was in such a deep concentration that I wasn’t going to bug him. But I did. I pulled his face to mine for a lingering kiss.

There was a gaze coming off of Toby’s face that I was feeling. While watching Kyle play outside, I needed to seriously think about how I was going to talk with my mom. I was sitting underneath the pine tree when Toby came out and sat next to me. He rested his hand on my knee. I took the hand that was rested on my knee and raised it to go over my shoulder that would pull me close to him. I love doing this with my boyfriend because I feel wanted.

“I’ve been thinking about how to talk with my mom. I think I want to do it alone and then text you about how it went.”

“I think it’s a good thing that you’ve been thinking and I’m also glad that you want to do it alone. It shows that you have confidence in yourself. Do you think you can go two days without seeing me?”

“As a matter of fact, I can. I know that’s weird but I can go a whole summer without seeing you. Thinking about you? Well, that’s a different story.”

“It’s an experiment that I wanna try. I wanna see how long I can go without seeing my amazing girlfriend.”

His head turned towards me with the smile that always turns me on. I was busy watching Kyle when I noticed what time it was. Time flies when you’re having fun. I gave up calling in Kyle as he wasn’t listening to a point where Toby had to get him in for dinner. Tonight’s dinner was easy as all I had to do was heat it up in the microwave. I asked Toby if he wanted to eat over and surprisingly he was hungry even though we went for a late lunch. Kyle can smell food a mile away and that was when he learned that it was dinner time after he fed the dogs their dinner.

I sat down with the boys so I wouldn’t get yelled at for not sitting down at dinner time. Toby gave me this cold hard stare and I wanna take a guess that he was thinking: where was mine?

“We went to a late lunch. I’m not hungry. I’ve been drinking water all afternoon so I’m not hungry.”

To prove my point, I got up and got a big glass of water. We were sitting at the kitchen table when my mom came home. Everything was cleaned up and Kyle was finishing up his second helping.

“I guess I should be getting going.” Toby said as he got up from his seat.

He went to go grab his backpack that had his finished homework inside before coming over to me. A hand rested on my shoulder when I realized that Toby wanted me to walk him to his car. Once Toby’s bag was on his back, I gave him a long lasting kiss. I didn’t want our lips to part. We then walked to his car where he had wished me good luck. I watched his car pull out of the driveway and drive away. The time has come to confront my mom about everything. When I opened the front door, my feelings and nerves were everywhere.

“Hey, mom,” I said as I reentered the house. “Can I speak with you?”

“Of course, you can. Just let me get out of my work clothes first.”

It didn’t take long for Linda to get out of her work clothes. I didn’t want Kyle to hear my conversation with her so I waited in my room for her. I closed my eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. When I opened my eyes, Linda was sitting on my bed, waiting for me to say something. Here goes nothing, my inner voice said to me.

“Mom, why didn’t you tell me about my dad? And why did I hear it from Toby?

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I had told Toby not to tell you but obviously he doesn’t listen. He got in contact with me a couple of months ago on Facebook. He wants to get to know you better and I’ve been deciding whether or not to allow it. In his latest email, he told me that’s he’s gonna fight for custody over you.”

“Well, you should. I’ve wanted to meet my father for years and now I have the chance. Why would I take that chance away from me? I’m glad he’s fighting for me. I should have the right to see both of my parents. I wanna see the emails that he sent you.”

“I’ll make sure of that. But you have some explaining to do about the marks on your neck young lady.”

“Those aren’t important. Toby probably already told you what had happened and I already got yelled at b Mrs. MacStar earlier and I sure don’t need it from you. I almost committed suicide because of the medication I was taking to stop the throwing up of the blood. My mind was already made up when I got home yesterday afternoon.”

“Yes, it is important because I almost lost my fifteen year old daughter. I don’t care about the medication. The fact is that you almost killed yourself.” Linda went into hysterics.

“I have to put that aside now, mom. There are bigger issues to deal with.”

“Like what?”

“You’re gonna join the army?” I questioned.

That was when her head went into her hands for the first time tonight. She was thinking about how to explain it to me. While thinking, Linda was fumbling with her hands before she found the right way of her word choice.

“I’m joining the army because I think it would be a good experience for me. I think it will help with me getting over my ex-husband and I also think it will help you and Kyle out.”

“NO! Are you nuts? This is one of those times where Kyle and I need you. Especially me. Do you know how much hurt this is going to cause us.” I rambled on.

“I know you need to think this over and to talk to Toby but I know when I made up my mind.” Linda said as she patted my knee before leaving my room.

I ended up taking a shower as a hot shower always helps me think. Once I was out and dressed, I sat on my bed and thought for a little bit. If I was the mother, of course I would support my daughter’s decision so why can’t a daughter support her mother’s decision. Some things are just messed up. My mom was in the living room watching television when I found her. She caught the sight of me while I sat on the couch next to her. Without a hesitation, she shut the television off knowing I had wanted to talk with her.

“I’m sorry for the way I reacted. I sat and thought for a while about what you said. You have always supported my decisions and choices. When I was throwing up blood, you were trying to take care of me. You weren’t yelling at me when I tried to commit suicide. You were there by my side. And that is why I am supporting your decision about going into the army. It will be hard for me and Kyle but Toby and his family will help me get through.”

Linda turned towards me and put a hand on my knee.

“Well, honey, I’m glad you support me because I’m leaving to0morrow morning for basic training. I have to go tell Kyle as I know how hard it would be.”

“What about my father? Is it possible for me to get in contact with him?”

“There’s nothing you can do. You won’t get in contact with him until you go to court. I will not have him have any contact with you as he missed out on fifteen years of your life. Now, are you going to help me tell Kyle or just sit there?”

No matter how much I put up a fight, I gave in for once. At least I know she won’t have to travel out of her way.

“Hey bud, mom and I need to chat with you. Can you come sit on your bed and listen to what we have to say?”

Kyle had followed what I said and got comfy near his pillows. He didn’t know what this was about and I thought he was scared to find out. Linda started to speak in a low voice.

“What do you think if I went into the army?”

“That would be pretty cool. You would be an army woman and would fight with guns.”

“Yeah, she would. But are you alright if she does go overseas when she’s deployed?” I asked.

“I think I would be fine with it. At night, I would have Toby and you and I know that mom would call or email when she gets the chance.” Kyle explained in his understanding.

“Well, Kyle, honey, I go to basic training in the morning and won’t be back for a month. Then after that I sign a contract for a two year deployment. I want you to know that I love you and Lucy despite everything’s that happened.” Linda concluded.

Kyle pulled everyone into a group hug as it would be the last one for a month.

“I report tomorrow morning at oh nine hundred hours. I get to bring both of you to school before I leave.”

I gave my mom’s hand a squeeze to let her know that I’m supporting her decision but it will be a lot on me more than Kyle.

“I want you to know that tomorrow I am calling a therapist to seek treatment about my attempt. It’s about time I start moving on instead of moving back in the past.”

Linda showed me a smile knowing I was making the right choice. I wanted to give Kyle and my mom some bonding time so I went next door. Nothing good was on television tonight so I didn’t bother turning it on. I had the choice of calling or texting Toby but I chose to text for now. I asked to call him and he agreed that I could call him. I knew his number by heart but he was the one to call me on my phone.

“Hello.”

“What happened when you talked to your mom?” Toby asked.

“She wasn’t the one who was yelling or raising their voice.”

“Do you mean that you got upset with her?”

“Yes. I did. She won’t let me speak with my biological father. And he wants to fight for me. I’m glad he’s gonna fight for me though. The worst part was when she told me about going into the army. I screamed at her saying that it would be a bad choice because Kyle and I need her most now than ever.”

“What happened afterwards?”

“I went into my room and thought about it for a long time. Shortly after, I came back out saying how she had been there for me. And now I need to be there for her. There was something else she told me.”

“And that was?”

“She never got the chance to tell me because I was in the hospital at most of the time. And I always saw you not her so that’s why. You know how you wanted me to be away from you tomorrow and Friday? Well, I can’t.” I started to tear up.”Kyle and I need you now more than ever because tomorrow morning, she leaves for basic training.”

“Alright.” Toby agreed. “Is she taking you to school or am I gonna pick you up?”

“She’s gonna drop both of us children at school tomorrow before she leaves.”

“I’m just glad that you talked to your mom about everything that has happened. Your mom is your best friend and you should tell me everything just like the way you tell me everything. It’s going to be a difficult time but my family and I are here for you and Kyle no matter what.” Toby concluded.

I wouldn’t say “I love you” to Toby unless I really meant it and felt. The past few days is what I’ve been feeling for Toby.

“I love you so much Toby.”

“I love you, too, Lucy. I’ll see you tomorrow at school or you can continue to text me if you want company.” Toby ended the phone call.

Once I was off the phone, I clutched it to my chest until I was ready to move. When I was ready to move, I realized that it was time for me to try to sleep but with everything that has been going on, I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep. My phone went on charger as the battery was ready to die. I closed my door for some privacy and my iPod Touch is on its nightstand waiting to wake me up in the morning. As much as I wanted to leave my iPod to charge, I couldn’t because I was in a desperate mood to listen to my music. Normally, I would lie down and listen to it but for some reason, I felt anger run through me. My foot tapped along with the beat and my eyes lit like a fire would.

Linda slept in the same room as Kyle did so they could have the time together despite Kyle kicks in his sleep.  Because I knew Toby’s number by heart, I texted him from my iPod. It was gonna be one of those long nights that I’m not prepared for. Linda had talked this over with our stepdad before making her decision. As much as she loved him, splitting up was the best idea that was possible. Texting back and forth with Toby was helping but most of me just want to cry in his shoulder but he wasn’t here at my house with me. Even though I wanted to talk to Toby even more, I couldn’t. We both needed sleep before we faced tomorrow’s school day.  

I laid there for a moment before I started tearing up. Staring up at the ceiling only made it darker and me sadder. This was one of those times where I wish I had something of Toby’s on me. That was when I remembered that Toby’s basketball shorts were still in my living room. I was trying not to awake my mom and Kyle while I sneaked past their room. I made it to the living room in one piece and was able to find his shorts. They were on top of my pile of clothes which was also easy to find. Once I made it back to my room, I took off my Capri’s that I wore to bed when the tears started up again and when I noticed it was already the next day. It was no use falling asleep so I just laid there in bed until my alarm was ready to go off.

At the same time my alarm went off, my phone vibrated; letting me know that I had a text message waiting. Lazy me was so tired and didn’t want to move. I was able to pull myself out of bed because of my curious mind about the text message that I have yet to read. Knowing I had a routine to follow, I again ignored the text message and went to shower. When it comes to spring weather, I get really crazy about the way I dressed. After showering and tossing my wet hair in a messy bun, I began to dress in Toby’s basketball shorts. For some reason, the temperature outside wasn’t cold or wasn’t warm; it was just right. Because today was an important day, I wore my favorite shirt with a pair of flip flops. Seeing my mom getting ready made me really sad but it also made me proud of her, knowing she’s doing something that is making her happy.

My brother was still in bed and was gonna be awake once my mom came back from dropping me off. I remembered that I had the text message that I hadn’t opened yet. It was a text from Toby saying that he was there for me no matter what and that he loved me a lot. I gathered everything that I needed for school out of my room. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye just yet but she’s doing what’s best for not only her but for me and Kyle. Between exchanged face expressions, Linda concluded that it was time for school. As much as she wanted this, she was having second thoughts. I attempted to make small talk on the way to school.

“Are you ready for today?” I asked.

“I’m ready. My thoughts are just clouded. They need to resolve so I can be focused.”

“You’re gonna be fine, mom.” I reassured her.

“It’s not that that I’m worried about.”

“Then, what is it?”

“I’m concerned about fighting court for letting your father have some custody.” She confessed.

“Listen to me mom. I want you to not worry about it and focus on your training. I’ll help take care of things.”

We pulled up at the school and that was when Linda parked the car instead of letting me out and driving away. To my surprise, she got out of the car with me and walked to my side of the car. I didn’t bother putting my backpack on my back just yet. Linda wrapped her arms around me. She was giving me a hug for the last time. When we parted, I saw that she was crying and I told her how much I loved her. I wanted to stay with her but I couldn’t. My last words to her was “be safe” and “I love you” before walking to the front door of the school.

When I opened the doors, Toby was standing there waiting for me to arrive. I took one last look of my mom’s car. Toby’s arms were waiting for me. At this point, I didn’t care if somebody saw me crying in the arms of my boyfriend. It’s what they’re there for. His grasp on me was tight but that just made me more his than anything. I was able to get Toby to move with me towards the cafeteria where we could sit down and I could be in his arms. His arm went around my shoulder as we walked to the cafeteria. It’s best I tell my friends so I can also have their support besides Toby’s and his family. All of my friends’ belongings were at our table but my friends went to go get breakfast before first period started. Normally we would go to our table in the back but today was different. I saw them coming back with their plate of breakfast. Once they saw me with Toby, they knew something was up but they couldn’t put their finger on it.