Chapter 17

“I’ve missed you, too.” I started to say. “I have a routine with Kyle and I can manage the house and myself on my own. I’ve been taking my medication once a day because twice makes me extremely tired. And even when I do take the medication, I still throw up but not as bad. I’ve also been talking to my therapist and I’m not as depressed as I was. Toby, I’m getting better but I’m also getting worse.”

The pain in my abdominal area was coming back. I was letting my words soak into Toby while I went into my backyard behind the shed. Everything was getting intense. I felt my throat starting to close up as I was yelling for Toby to come quickly. He saw mw lying on the ground and al he thought about was getting me help. Toby instincts told him to call a rescue and then call Tom to have him pick up Kyle. The rescue arrived once Toby was off the phone with Tom. They immediately picked me up on a stretcher and brought me to the truck. By then, the EMT’s were putting an oxygen mask on me so I could breathe.

Even with the oxygen mask, I was still having a hard time breathing and the pain was still there. Again, Toby gave the EMT’s my information again. The EMT asked Toby if he wanted to ride in the rescue to the hospital. Toby told them no as he followed them in his truck. Being in the back of the rescue made me realize that I have a lot of medical issues. When we got to the hospital, Trisha was already waiting to take me in. The EMT had put a bucket in front of me because of the throwing up blood. Because Trisha knows me, she made sure to keep a clean bucket nearby. The doctors were already starting to do tests on me when Toby found my room.

We both said nothing but actions/expressions speak louder than words. He was holding my hand while all of this was happening. Trisha told me that the doctor would be in shortly. Soon enough, the same doctor came in with the results. I had managed to say something before he gave us the results.

“Do NOT tell me it’s Anorexia Nervosa because it isn’t. I know for a fact.”

“Well,” the doctor said. “You are right. It’s not Anorexia Nervosa but it is something. We’re going to do a CT scan just to make sure.”

They prepped me for my CT scan right then and there. Trisha told me that she made the exception of Toby coming with us. I was scared and at the same time happy. Happy Toby was there by my side. Scared of the CT scan because I don’t know if it would cause more damage. Toby was trying to calm me down while Trisha was unlocking my bed. Toby walked with me to the room where the scan was taking place. He saw the look in my eyes and gave me a kiss on the head and squeezed my hand. I went into the machine, thinking about my mom and how she was doing with the Basic Training.

I was talking with Toby while the doctors were testing me. Before I knew it, the testing was all done and Toby was walking with my bed back to the room. Now it was time to wait for the results. I asked for Toby to not only be my support but to be my pillow. Finally, I was able to breathe a little bit easily when I tried to fall asleep.  Just as I was starting to close my eyes, the doctor came in holding a vanilla envelope. That envelope had the results from the CT scan. I wanted to know what was going on with me. As the doctor started to speak, Trisha came in with the medicine. That got me worried.

“The results from the CT scan are in. I have checked and double checked what I found. I now understand why you’re throwing up blood, the reason for difficulty swallowing and the abdominal pain. All of these symptoms result in a type of cancer. Stomach cancer to be exact. The nurse is going to get you started on some chemotherapy. You, Lucy, have stage two stomach cancer.”

To hear that type of news, it left me speechless. Who would ever think that I would get cancer? They were gonna start me on a dose of chemotherapy today and then come back every day at four pm. This was a bit of news that set me off. After hearing the disease that I have, Toby texted Linda to inform her. But Toby and I aren’t officially back together. He’s just my support system. The IV drip of chemotherapy lasted for another five hours. Toby signed the discharge papers and brought his truck up to the front. I was starting to have less energy than before. Toby picked me up and put me in his truck before he went to the driver’s side. When we got home, there was no car in the driveway and no lights on in the house. I opened my car door and slowly got out. Toby was on the side to help me if I needed it. I didn’t need any help getting out but walking was another story. Toby took my hand and walked a step one at a time. I was so exhausted that I didn’t care where I slept. Toby got me settles on the couch while he went to go feed/let the animals out.

Thank god for Toby. He is helping me out while I’m battling this cancer. I pulled out my cell phone that was hiding in my pocket. Tom’s number was on speed dial and I got it to ring. It was Kyle who answered Tom’s phone. 

“Hey, bud. How are you?”

“I’m good. Dad picked me up from the bus stop and brought me to his place to have dinner.”

“Cool. Let your dad know that Toby and I are home and he can drop you off anytime.”

“See you soon, Lucy.”

It touched my heart to hear Kyle’s voice on the other line. Bear came pouncing in like he was on some type of drugs. He started to sniff me because of the chemical smells from the hospital. When he was done sniffing me, Bear climbed up into my lap and laid there. He took Toby’s spot but Toby managed to get his head in somewhere. Just as we all got comfortable, the front door opened and Kyle walked through the door. He said that there was no homework because it was the end of the year.

Kyle went into the shower at the same time that Toby took his phone out to check his text messages. I decided to call Lily and let her know what has happened. When I called, one of the girls answered the phone. I asked them if I could speak with their mom.

“Hi, Lucy. How are you?” Lily asked.

“You’re sounding a bit chipper at night. I’m doing alright. I called because I need to tell you something.”

“I’ve decided to quit smoking but Colby wants to continue.”

“That’s awesome news. But I kind of have some depressing news. Do you remember when I was in the hospital for throwing up blood? Or how they messed up the illness I had?”

“I remember you throwing up blood but they mistreated you for another illness?”

“Yes.” I confirmed. “They did a CT scan earlier today. I was brought to the hospital because of the abdominal pain I was feeling.”

“What were the results?”

I hesitated.

“They’re treating me with chemotherapy for stage two stomach cancer.”

I heard a gasp on the other side of the line. My voice started to get a bit shaky as I slowly started to cry.

“I have to go for chemotherapy for a week at four every day. And hopefully from there, I should be treated.”

“Thanks for telling me. I’ll be on the lookout if something is bothering you.”

“Thanks, Lily. Thank you for your support.”   I said before hanging up.  

When I turned my head, I saw Toby staring at me. The sympathy and the hurt were showing through his hazel eyes. It was time for bed as Toby and I had exams the following day. After tomorrow, we have one more exam to take and it was our Science one. Toby asked me if I wanted him to stay in the house with me. Because I was a bit weak, I had Toby stay the night but I asked him to sleep on the couch. . It was fine with him but Toby needed to go back to his mom’s house for some clean clothes. I made sure Kyle was in bed before I went to wait for Toby to return. The dog made himself comfortable on the couch while I was watching for Toby’s truck to appear. Shortly, Toby was back with his belongings. I went into my mom’s closet and grabbed the extra pillows and blankets for the couch.

“If you need anything, please don’t hesitate to wake me up.”

“I would never wake you out of deep sleep. I’m quite sure I won’t need anything.”

And with that, I gave Toby a long hug before going to bed. He watched me leave the living room and go off to my room. I was so worked up that I needed to talk with some other family members including Tom and Brett. Talking with Tom was a breeze because he was the whatever; I don’t care type of guy. I went into my mom’s room to grab the home phone as I didn’t know Brett’s phone number by heart. Toby heard my footsteps and was wondering what I was doing. As soon as I heard Brett’s voice on the other line, I started to cry.

“Lucy, what’s wrong?” Brett questioned.

“I found out today that I have stage two stomach cancer. It explains the throwing up of blood, enclosed throat, abdominal pain, and shortness of breath.”

“Wow. What are they treating you with?”

“I have to go to the hospital every day at four pm for a dose of chemotherapy. I think I need to reschedule our meeting together.”

“I think that would be a good idea. When do you want to move it to? I’m hoping you get better sooner than later.”

“I want to make sure that this cancer has cleared before I make any decisions. So do I. I’m so scared because I’m getting weaker when I have the chemotherapy.”

“I agree with you. But during that time, I would like to continue to have contact through talking on the phone.”

“Thank you so much.”

I hung the phone up and just sat there for a moment. I didn’t want to move knowing how weak and upset I was. I couldn’t leave the phone off of the charger because then the battery would die. I made up my mind to hang the phone back on the cradle. I was so worked up and so tired at the same time. I went to bed crying so much that I was out once my head hit the pillow. It was around one in the morning when I woke up from a bad dream. It wasn’t the same one I had weeks ago but it was similar. I checked on Kyle who was on the opposite side of the bed before I used the bathroom. I also went to go check on Toby. He was sound asleep on the couch.

There was no way I could fool Toby when I was up. One of his eyes were opened and was peeking to see what was going on. Once he saw that I was up and about, he started to stir. I went back into my room to see if I could fall asleep. Two hours have passed and I was still wide awake. I went back to the living room where Toby was sitting up and somewhat awake. I sat next to him to see if he noticed me. Obviously, he did because he could hear the sniffling sounds I was TRYING not to make. An arm went around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him.

The both of us were ready to fall asleep but there wasn’t enough room for both of us to fit on the couch. Instead, we lead our sleepy bodies to my room where I curled into Toby’s body and nodded off. The alarm was set for five but I hit the snooze button knowing Toby was gonna take me to school. I was the first one to wake the second time around and this time, Toby, Kyle and I were in no rush.  When I got out of the shower, Kyle was starting to get up and Toby was waiting to shower. My hair was still soaked when I brushed it and put it up into a bun for the day. The next step was to figure out what I was gonna wear for the day.  My legs were recently shaven as I shave them every two to three days.

By the time Toby finished showering, Kyle was up and getting dressed for the day. Today, I decided to dress in a nice skirt and top for the last day of exams. Time flew by and Toby was driving us to school. I took deep breaths, knowing my condition and all. I was more confident on this exam than all of the others that I took. The two hours passed quickly. I walked to Toby’s truck to wait for him as I didn’t want to leave the school yard just yet. I took out my phone to check if I had any text or voice messages. It was only one voice message which was from my mom and quite a few text messages. I was getting anxious to hear my mom’s voice again. I was able to remember my pass code as it was Toby’s birth date. The first word I heard, I started to cry uncontrollably. I cried through the whole message that I had to replay it again. Toby and his new friend Phred were gonna hang out in the bed of the truck with us. They only hung out for about an hour because I wanted to leave for summer break.

I minded my own business while they were fooling around. It made me have a good laugh and be grateful for Toby’s friends. Toby said goodbye to Phred and I was surprised that Phred wanted a hug from me. I had warned him to be careful as I was hurting all over. Both me and Toby watched Phred walk to his ride. He came behind me and put his hands on my waist with his head buried into the crook of my neck. I took a huge breath to try to shake myself loose. Toby understood EVERYTHING that was going on with me. I turned into him and wanted his scent to overcome me. I moved my head up towards his and slowly kissed him. Toby could feel all of the pain I was feeling just by one kiss. He whispered in my ear to get into the truck as we could drive to his mom’s house. It was in the truck when I was able to tell Toby what I was feeling.

  “Guess who called me?”

“Who? Did you speak with them?”

“No. They called and left a voice message. I had to play the message twice.”

“How come?”

“It was my mom who called. I cried as soon as I heard her voice. It’s why I had to play it twice.”

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry. How are you feeling now?” Toby asked.

“Overwhelmed. Exhausted. Excited. Worried. I’m mixed emotions.”

We were finally in Mrs. MacStar’s driveway. It felt good to be back at his mom’s house. Before we walked in, I had one thing to say to Toby.

“I think we can call ‘us’ official again.”

“I think we can.” Toby agreed.

Mrs. MacStar hasn’t arrived to her house yet. It was a nice day out and I wanted to spend it outside. Toby stood outwards to get a good look at me. Something was crossing his mind when Mrs. MacStar walked through the door.

“Hey mom, do we have a scale?” Toby asked.

“A scale? Like to find out a weight?”

“Yes. A scale like that one.”

“One should be in the bathroom down here.”

Toby motioned me to follow him to where Mrs. MacStar said the sale was. I saw the scale in between the toilet and the sink. Toby pulled it out and told me to stand on top. The last time I stood on a scale, it read two hundred pounds. This time, it was reading one hundred and thirty pounds. It was more shocking to me than Toby. Is this one of the symptoms of chemotherapy? I went back into the kitchen where Mrs. MacStar was getting organized. Before going to her home, Mrs. MacStar went to a clothing store to get me a bathing suit. Toby went upstairs to change into his while I made sure the one bought fit. I was changing in the down stairs bathroom when I felt vomit coming up my throat. When Toby opened the door, it was a bad time. I turned around from getting up off the ground.

The bathing suit was only half on me. My arms couldn’t reach the back string so Toby was able to help me out. When I turned around to face him, he saw how pale I was but how excited I was. I put my tank top on and my skirt on. Toby was still admiring the beauty of me. Mrs. MacStar brought two towels outside. It was a perfect day to tan but Toby wanted to go in his pool. I was standing on the deck while Toby’s hazel eyes were watching the breeze take the water away. A smile appeared on my face minutes before I told something to Toby.

“Go jump in.” I urged Toby.

He didn’t need to be told twice to make a big splash in the pool. It made me laugh as I was stripping down to show the rest of my suit. By the time I put my feet in the water to let the sun beat on me, Toby was playing with my feet. His face soon appeared to see my smiling face. I was getting tired of sitting up. Slowly, I lowered myself down so the sun was in my eyes. Not only could I feel the sun shine down on me, I also heard and felt the ripples of the water from Toby swimming. Toby was getting bored swimming back and forth. His head poked up between my legs at the same time that I sat up. I was afraid of how much strength I would have to swim with Toby.

“Wanna go for a swim?” Toby teased.  

I shook my head and gave a little laugh. I didn’t want to slide in but I also wanted to surprise Toby. I pulled my feet from the water and stood up. Toby’s thoughts were racing because he thought I was ready to vomit again. I backed up to the end of the deck and got a running start. I leaped into the air and made a big splash. Toby went under the same time that I was attempting to push my way to the top. It felt good to be in the pool. He surprised me by attacking my legs before coming up from the water. His hands went from behind my knees to my neck and started to tease just a bit. I turned around and pushed him back a bit. All I wanted to do was be a fish in the sea. After giving up on me, Toby let me swim. When I felt myself getting cold, I knew it was time to get out of the pool. Shortly, Toby and I was drying in the sun before changing. The smell of chlorine was driving me insane and was a sign of taking a shower.