Shooting Star

Grass in my hair
Tears in my eyes
Stars lots of stars
One falls
I think to my self
What I want most
She doesn't realize
Doesn't realize how much it hurts
To deny her the attention she wants and needs
She doesn't realize
Doesn't realize that i can't take it
I can't take it anymore
I can't be there for her all the time
Because in all the years of looking after her
I've lost my self
Too focused on helping out and trying to be strong
Too focused on not letting anyone see that I was hurting inside
I took care of her as if she was my younger sister
Even when she hit me and caused me so much pain
I took the pain silently
Not understanding what I had done wrong
Not understanding why I was taking care of my older sister
And not taking care of myself
Mom and dad fighting as I cried myself to sleep
Her and mom fighting as I turned up the music and wrote
Wrote trying to rid myself of all this pain
Knowing that this much pain could be forgiven
But never forgotten
So as I laid there in the grass thinking
Thinking about what I would wish on that shooting star
I wished for you
I wished I could see you
I wished that I could hold you in my arms
Knowing that wishing my sister was better would be easier
I would feel less guilty
But nothing and no one has ever made me as happy as you have
No one has changed my life so profoundly
Going from being really depressed
To feeling happier than I've ever been
All in a matter of days and weeks
But it kills me inside knowing we're far apart
It kills me inside to feel your sadness
It kills me inside knowing that I can't be there to hold you
Can't be there to tell you everything is going to be okay
So I wished on that shooting star
That I could see you
Even if it was just for a few minutes
Wished that one day I could finally call you mine.