A Day I'll Never Forget

My mind plays back
Plays back
Every detail
Of every second
every minute
every hour
of that day
that horrible day
Everything is in slow motion
No detail was forgotten
As soon as I saw all the empty pill bottles
I picked up the phone
I dialed the only number I could think of
Not calling my mom to see what I should do
But knowing that the sooner help came
The better of a chance you had to survive
Sitting on your bed as you threw up
My mind racing
Wondering how I would go on with life without you
Racing faster and faster
Trying so hard to be strong
And make good decisions
While my brain was processing so much at once
Hands shaking as I talked to the operator
Still shaking as I opened the door for the cops
Still shaking as I try my best to answer the paramedic's questions
Trying to recall all the medicine you would have taken
A weeks worth of yours
A weeks worth of mine
All the bottles that were not locked up yet
So many pills
Too many pills
I dunno how you made it
I dunno how you survived
But how doesn't really matter
All that matters is that you did survive
Watching the ambulance drive off
As dad and I made our way to the hospital
All this time my mind still racing
My thoughts still going crazy
And my hands still shaking
Waiting at the hospital
Driving to the other hospital
Waiting and waiting to see you
Waiting and finding out we were in the wrong hospital
We walk across the street
Into the right hospital
Sign in
Find your room
Go in
Sit down
Watch you as you sleep
Watching you heart rate speed up on the monitor
As you realized I was there
Got home at three
Determined to go to school the next day
But it was too much
Just too much
I was too exhausted
Mentally
And physically drained
I got to see you the day before you were transferred
You were so happy to see me
I was so happy to see you
Even though you were hooked up to all these machines
An IV dripping water into you
You were there
You were alive
Although your not the sister I once knew
Your personality drastically changes
Your still my sister
My big sister
And I still love you no matter what
Even when you hit me
Even when you scream and shout
Even when I have to take care of you like a baby
Even when it's too loud to work
Too loud to think
Too loud
Too stressful
But it's worth it
You're worth it
Worth having to grow up fast
Worth my time
I try
Try my best
Worrying more about your well being and happiness
Then worrying about myself
I just want you to know
That you're worth all of this and so much more
Always my sister
Always my big sister
I love you always