The Film

A Poem by Claire

The film she called still plays in my head
But sometimes I can stop it
Or at least put it in pause
Sometimes its starts, but I can change the ending
But sometimes when i'm down
And I don't have the strength
The whole film plays
And not just once
It plays over and over again
Sometimes my brain adds in smell or touch
Sometimes I can feel her hands around my throat like they are really there
Sometimes I can smell the nail polish remover as it cascades over my body
The tremble in my hands as I dial 911
The liquid sticking to me like it will never leave
Sometimes I even see a movie of the movie
Like I'm sitting back and looking at the view
But lately I've been able to block it out before it even starts
I've been able to cope with it when it comes
I've been able to live the life I want and not the one she left for me