Jumbled Futility

..fear of becoming a broken record..

I'm loosing the identity of being poetic 

Turning only into a peddler of the prosthetic 

All of the aspects that once, I seemed to follow 

Have left me broken hearted and unequivocally hollow 

I'm loosing all the drive that comes from ambition 

Have fallen to the destitute that is repetition 

I want to be productive in my creativity 

Yet I deliver a collage of collective jumbled futility 

- DD

Reviews

[PianoandPage]

lol. i love the humorous way you write about an angst so many of us feel. your vocabulary is definitely above average and lends well to this piece.

i tend to get a little snooty when people rhyme though because it is done badly more often than not. i actually think you rhyme really well but i would still change a few things.

for eg..

"I'm loosing the identity of being poetic
Turning only into a peddler of the prosthetic
All of the aspects that once, I seemed to follow
Have left me broken hearted and unequivocally hollow"

I would rewrite as...

I’m losing my identity; of being poetic
Becoming a peddler of the prosthetic
All of the aspects that I once seemed to follow
Have left me heart-broken and unequivocally hollow

it's a small change but to me at least it flows a little easier. that's a matter of opinion though. anyway. i commend you for writing this witty piece and thanks for the wry smiles.

[Ed Hart]

we speak our hearts