dont wanna break up again

A Poem by zeronineight

a little bit of ariana grande adjacent vulnerability at 3am in the morning

this is so so so so so silly i feel like
to leave you messages in a discord you probably will never open
to go through your twitter and look at a life that once was ours
to wonder if i can ever go back to you
and find proof of your life
still as difficult as it was when i left--

-- i

i wish we worked in similar paces
that I would come to grow and be a better person, exploring my world
and you would come to go find happiness, that quirky goofy feeling you once carried yourself with
without the constant need for alcohol
or the bubbling rage that just seems to be your everyday

but i wonder if that would still be you.

i wonder if the happiness and quirkiness you had at the beginning of our relationship
was but a small glimpse of a different person you were then
and that this is who you are and will be now

and i wonder if this is where it ends
if i will really, truly have to come to terms
with saying goodbye to you
because i cannot be with this person anymore

i cannot long for the same person i had to leave to be who i am now

i have shed so much
and loved so dearly
and fared so well

i have grown my world brighter and bigger
and i have come to be so proud and happy of myself
and of my growth
and found people who genuinely see and love and cherish me

that i will not be able to forgive myself
if i went back to a past i had outgrown
and that hurts

it hurts that
for all the pain and suffering and hardship
i went through in our relationship
my heart cannot help but wonder if we could have worked it out

and it hurts to have to come to the conclusion
that in actuality, in the reality of who we are and how we've moved on in our lives
and how we want to keep moving forward
we might not work it out

and that all this growing
that i needed to do for myself
led me so far away from you there's no coming back

you might not be where im headed
and it hurts

© 2026 zeronineight

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Reviews

JayG

Given that you’re not receiving comments on your work, I thought you might want to know why, and, how to change that.

Basically, what you’re posting is you talking about things and events meaningful to you, or, presenting a letter of complaint you’ve written to someone unknown, for things largely unstated. So the question is, what’s in it for the reader? They come to you to be entertained, not learn how your day went.

Unlike the author-centric and fact-based writing approach we learned in school—the approach you’re using—poetry, whose goal is to move the reader emotionally, is written in an emotion-based way.

Instead of telling the reader how and why we feel on a given day, we evoke those emotions in-the-reader. Though how to do that is a learned skill.

Never forget that they’ve been refining the skills of poetry for over a thousand years. So, take advantage of that. Dig into the skills of the profession and make them yours.

For non-metrical poetry, take a look at Mary Oliver’s, A Poetry Handbook. For metrical poetry, and to make prosody work for you, read the excerpt to Stephen Fry’s, The Ode Less Traveled.

Sorry my news wasn’t better, but given that we’ll never address the problem we don’t see as being one, I thought you might want to know.