A Kind

We were a kind, once upon a time.

We were a kind.

You and I made a species:

we walked roofs in perfect imbalance.

Together, we were a new kind of story.

A legend, a romance.

We made a statement.

We walked by flowers and made for them

a new scent.

We recreated locales, we made a fresh act,

we created a sensuous strange.

You and I made a new class.

We were a kind.

We were.

Reviews

[Buddhistboy73]

I really loved this piece of writing. "We walked roofs in perfect imbalance".....great line! Yes, this really conjures up images for me, leading me into my emotions. "We walked by flowers and made for them a new scent".....another beautiful line....:)
And i love the ending too.....bittersweet.........

[Harley Ann]

this is a lot like what i'm feeling right now. perfect flow of emotion, this is the most poetic thing i've read yet, even though i'm only 15. regardless, there seems to be a time in everyone's life where someone comes along and completely changes the world, and then they're gone.
the format fit very well also.

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is really good, i love it "we walked by the flowers and made for them a new scent" love this piece

[Alessander]

Ah, yes, Romeo & Juliet if they hadn't died - there's a whole genre of lit about this very theme. The rhetorical structure is very solid - strong verbs keep this poem moving - and at first the grammarian in me wanted to change "strange" into "strangeness", but ur version works better - the very act of having strange grammar reflects the idea, I think.

[RiNNA<3]

wow. good piece. loved how you made such a short poem get it's point across. and your choice of words is amazing great job

[Frantzuu]

great poem, it tells a story, very well done.

[Mark]

thats the way it feels.

[An owl on the moon]

What a profound enchantment found in this beautiful expression of memory... You create an epic sense of the mystical found within the intimacy of two becoming one... and the longing for what was...

[theludus]

Basically I like that this is, it is very much a new scape and there's an elegance and refined act, in the reading, in the writing of it.

I have a few ideas as to how you might make this better. If you are interested then hola.

[BJ "Bunneh3000" Brown]

"We walked by flowers and made for them
a new scent."

Wow... that line was about as powerful as any I've experienced in a poem. A wickedly powerful love that made the world around it mean more than it ever imagined it could. I love this poem!

Great write!!!

[alan khan]

wow. this was really great. awesome work.