Clouds Rising; Love Sightings

inspired by Cloud Gazing, Love's Phasing

 

We lay here together

Moments with you won't last forever

While your head gently nests 

Between my waist and my chest

Never before 

Have I enjoyed like this

Looking at the sky

From the corner of my eye

I catch a glimpse of your smile

Never gone to waste

And your pretty face

With a background of rye

 

You keep my hand

Firmly

Stopping me

From looking at my watch

I can't help but to think

You're everything I thought

It makes me feel as though

My heart's been tossed

My heartbeat stops

As I think about my

Soon to be loss

Who's apparently

...*lick*

Wearing gloss

 

A soft breeze squirms through us

Just enough

For your scent

To take me over

Step by step

Both 

With no idea

Of where time went

The sun is setting

And molding

With the up and coming

Crescent

Night has crept

 

Our mutual importance

Is prime

Our hearts seem to

Beat 

At the same time

We simultaneously look at ourselves

Like a rhyme

We know it's time

Almost like we can

Hear the chime

After getting in that car

There's no physical rewind

 

As we walk away

My left hand on your hip

I have a hard time

Losing grip

I feel our interior grit

Our similar wit

Our desire to

Lose it

Lust fits

Or stop

And talk

Publish our remarks

To each other

Guaranteed sparks

 

But in the end

I'll be content

With our time

Well spent

Nothing less than

Exquisite

 

Author's Note

this one felt extremely good

Reviews

[KAin]

An interesting rhyme scheme, well-executed to convey a great message. It had a bit of a "message in a bottle to my love" feel to it, but maybe that's just me. The sensation is mostly due to the rhyme scheme and the tone of how i read it, as opposed to the words themselves which showed an intimate moment spent with a loved one. Well written, indeed!

[Sami Khalil]

"You're everything I thought

It makes me feel as though

My heart's been tossed

My heartbeat stops

As I think about my
Soon to be loss"

[Sami Khalil]

"The sun is setting

Molding

With the up and coming crescent

Night has crept



Our mutual importance is prime"

[AnnaMae]

Ahh, i love the tone of this one and it flows very well. Great piece!

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I quite enjoyed this write. You have a very moody and sublime poetic voice, which I can appreciate. This sounds a lot like music to me as I read. I can relate to the elegance of an encounter such as this and the not wanting for that moment to end. I wouldn't suggest any changes, this one stands tall and proud on its own.

[Jessie McRiley]

This is extremely good, and well written... I really enjoyed it... I just love your writing style..

An amazing poem, well done...:)

[Stephanie]

Oh my goodness, you are brilliant! Just saying, lol. This was beautiful and expressed a poignant sentiment: Enjoy the time you have, no matter how limited, because it was worth every single second. I know the feeling all too well and the motto is something I try to live by. I love the way this flowed, loved the imagery and the memories it conjured for me.

"Our mutual importance is prime
Our heart, beats at the same time
We simultaneously look at ourselves, like a rhyme
We know its time
Its almost like we hear the chime
After getting in that car, there's no physical rewind"

Know that feeling too! So, this was pretty amazing and I'm putting it in my favorites. Bravo :]