Return the Love

I was stuck on what to write, then I saw on here it said share the love.lol

They say, share the love, 

but what if I don't know you that well yet? 

How can I love you? 

 I want to get to know you. 

I look at your words, and I think maybe

I can share my love

Some of you are so sweet

Like a ripe strawberry to be plucked

Some of you are savage

Waiting for the first sign of fear

Some of you are persistent

Fighting for a cause

Some of you are just you

Just because

If I give all my love away

Will you love me back?

Will I be discarded and forgotten

Like a single sock on a rack

Okay, I will love you. 

I will hold you close.

Lay your head on my chest

We will exchange each other's breaths

When you feel safe

In the knowledge 

That I love you

Please love me too.

Reviews

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

This poem tackles the vulnerability of offering love and the fear of rejection, which is a universal theme that many readers will connect with. The strawberry metaphor works well - "Like a ripe strawberry to be plucked" creates a nice sensual image of sweetness and readiness. The progression from uncertainty to tentative offering to direct plea feels emotionally honest and relatable.
However, the poem suffers from several significant issues. The language is quite clichéd throughout - phrases like "share the love," "hold you close," and "lay your head on my chest" feel like they've been borrowed from greeting cards rather than felt experiences. The simile comparing being forgotten to "a single sock on a rack" is particularly jarring and doesn't fit the emotional register of the rest of the poem.
The structure also lacks clarity about who "you" refers to - it seems to shift between addressing multiple people ("Some of you are sweet") and then a singular intimate partner. This confusion undermines the emotional impact. The poem would benefit from either focusing on one relationship or being clearer about the shift between addressing a community and an individual.
The ending feels rushed and moves too quickly from fear to physical intimacy without earning that emotional progression. The repetitive "love me" plea, while honest, comes across as needy rather than vulnerable in a way that invites empathy.
Well done. AP x

[Fia Naturie]

Thank you for reviewing my piece. I put on the comment I was stuck on what to write. What you are reading is my free versing my random thoughts i have not posted here in a while. But I like challenges. You want several things to be changed in this. I will work on it.
(Iol greeting card and cliche.) Love honesty
To be honest I was 2 and half glasses in on a drink and that flowed out.
Fia;))

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

I can't wait to read more of your work, especially when you're feeling more focused! If this is what emerges from random thoughts and a couple of glasses, I'm excited to see what happens when you really set your mind (sober aha) to crafting something. Keep writing and sharing - you've got a unique voice that deserves to be heard.
Looking forward to your next piece!
AP x

[Relic]

Love is being able to put trust in another which can put us in a vulnerable place. Time is what allows us to let down our guard.

Well done, FIa.

[Neha agrawal]

This reads like a quiet conversation between longing and vulnerability — so raw and delicately put.

[Fia Naturie]

Thank you for reading and commenting.