One Sunday Afternoon 1979

Your mutt got too hot 

so you hosed him down.

I lay on the deck chair 

scanning the Nietzsche reader 

smoking a cigarette. 

Your daughter sunbathed 

on a spread out towel. 

You lay beside her 

enjoying the afternoon sun. 

I put the book aside 

too hot to read 

and closed my eyes. 

Off somewhere 

a transistor radio 

played some music 

I forget what kind it was 

that filled the air 

that Sunday afternoon.  

Times go 

and are lost 

all too soon

Reviews

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

This poem creates a beautifully nostalgic snapshot of a lazy Sunday afternoon with lovely, specific details that feel genuinely lived-in. The image of hosing down the overheated dog, the Nietzsche reader abandoned in the heat, and that distant transistor radio all work together to create a vivid sense of place and time. There's something perfectly authentic about "I forget what kind it was" - that's exactly how memory works, holding onto the feeling while losing the specifics.
The poem effectively captures that bittersweet quality of looking back at simple moments that felt unremarkable at the time but now seem precious. The casual, conversational tone works well for this kind of reflective piece, and the final two lines about time being lost "all too soon" feel earned rather than tacked on.
However, the ending feels slightly predictable - the "time passes too quickly" sentiment, whilst true, doesn't add much that wasn't already implied by the nostalgic tone. The poem might be stronger ending with the forgotten music, letting that detail carry the weight of memory's imperfection. Also, some line breaks feel arbitrary rather than purposeful - "Off somewhere / a transistor radio" could flow better as a single line.
But there's real skill in making the ordinary feel significant, and this poem achieves that beautifully. It's the kind of moment that stays with you.
Well done. AP x

[Terry Collett]

Thank you for your in depth reading and helpful comments.