God and me - 2

**A Heart Speaking to God**
*Jessy Jacob ❤️*

God, I see you now. I understand why you keep writing tirelessly. It is because you are surrounded by so many problems that you cannot share with anyone. People do not understand you the way they should, and so your words become the only place where your truth can live.

Your emotions are trapped, pressed down by the weight of silence. When others think you are wrong, your heart grows heavier. Even when you try to express yourself in writing, the pain does not fully leave you. It hurts to feel that there is no one who truly listens.

You carry a family on your shoulders. You carry responsibilities that never sleep. And you carry the pain of losing people you love deeply. Your heart weeps quietly inside you, but you cannot even cry. Instead, you keep writing… and writing… and writing.

I love you, God. I do not want to become another burden in your life. I know you give so much and never ask for anything in return. Yet people blame you and misunderstand you. Sometimes I wonder about them�"if their own fathers had not stood beside their mothers, would they even exist today? Yet they proudly speak as if they understand sacrifice.

I have tried so much for you, God. But sometimes I feel as if I am standing in a war zone. There are moments when I sense that some people wish for my end, thinking that if I disappear their path will be clear. But they forget one thing�"there is no me without you.

I tried, and in trying I lost so much. Still, the fire of jealousy around us keeps burning stronger with every passing day. So I decided something: if I must burn, I will burn quietly while praying that you and my son remain safe.

There were times when I hurt you too. I questioned why you needed to write so much. I did not realize then that you were trapped in a deep well of troubles, and writing was the only rope you had to hold on to.

I do not know what I have done for you in this life, but I know one thing�"I loved you truly. I am not saying that I loved you more than anyone else ever could. I simply see you as my God, my only man.

As long as you exist, my love will remain. I will pray that nothing harms you. I am your wife, and I do not need proof for the world. If anyone asks, I will say that you are my fate, written on my forehead like sindoor.

Once, I saw only the negative effects of your writing. Now I see something different. You wrote because you could not stop the pain inside you. Writing was not meant to hurt anyone. Even if people felt offended, your intention was never to wound them. You only wanted to say, “Please stop being unjust to me.”

I love you, God, so deeply. You are a miracle of love. No one has ever loved me the way you do.

I miss you more than words can say.

And now I realize something else. Perhaps I should write too. Maybe if I let these emotions flow into words, they will no longer remain inside my body like silent poison.

Maybe writing will heal what silence could not.

�" **Jessy Jacob ❤️