Dear mother - letter 1

**Dear Mother Goddess,**

I miss you so much. Only you stay with me, caring for me when no one else truly understands my heart.

I worked hard in life. I studied in one of the top colleges, waking early every morning, riding my bicycle to tuitions and classes. I believed education and dedication would give me a place in the world. Yet, in my own country, even after all that effort, no company could give me a job. I struggled for more than six years, trying to stand on my own feet.

Then I got married, hoping life would become peaceful. Instead, my life fell into a maze that took many painful years to come out of. During that time, I lost my son to his father, and every night I feel the pain of missing him. A mother’s heart never stops calling for her child.

I loved sincerely. Yet the man I loved seeked me into terrible conflicts, asking me to help solve problems. When I helped and did everything I could, he simply said he couldn't marry me and left me alone and said he is with me.

I struggled so much to keep love alive with my former husband, but even he said one day that I was no longer trustworthy. That moment broke something deep inside me.

I love my parents dearly, yet even they could not understand my pain. They scolded me, saying I left my son, lost my money, and brought shame upon myself. Those words hurt deeply, especially coming from the people I love the most.

Amma, sometimes I wonder �" to whom do I belong? When I cry people doesn't even allow me to cry and stop my tears by humiliating me, can't i even cry consoling with myself?

I know what a true mother’s love is because I have seen it in my grandmother. She still cares for me. But at one point she believed my life was already settled, that I had a grown son and that my married life was complete, never imagining the storms that would come.

Dear Amma, I love you so much. Whenever I cry and feel lost in my life, you remind me not to fall into self-pity. You taught me courage. Whenever I reach out to you in prayer, you console my heart. Even when the world is harsh, you quietly stop my tears.

Sometimes I ask you: why has my life felt like something used and thrown away?

I tried to give respect and love wherever I went. Yet people who already had comfortable lives still used me for their own needs. Some even say strange things. Others try to hurt me, frighten me, and make me feel as if my life has no value.

Amma, who is God? What is this power people fight over? If someone truly does good, isn’t that enough? Why do people seek power instead of compassion?

I only know this: if you have given me any responsibility in this world, I will keep my promise to you. I will live with courage and continue walking forward. My husband’s family cares for me or not now, and I will continue to live with dignity and love.

No matter who tries to hurt me or break me, I will live �" and I will keep my promise to you.

With love always,
**Jessy Jacob ❤️**