how do you feel..... when....

how do you feel when your death is inevitable

how do you feel it is to cross the bridge you need to swim across and you dont know swimming

how do you feel when you hear the news of dear ones passing away, 

how do you feel when you see you are failed in exam

how do you feel when you hear from your man that he cant come back

how do you feel when your husband doesnt marry you and says i cant marry you

how do you feel when you see the news of war that restricts you to not to see your son anymore

For all these questions there is no answer, there is no other option to overcome them face as is

life gives you so much and takes away too so much

it was the thousand cries i did in one time, when i heard him not replying to me so i made a chance to talk to me

life and people always made me to go back and correct mistakes, but it hurted my ego and also created pain. 

now i see i am suffering without job, but even in job i scare when they are going to fire me. so the option of focusing on another career, where people seek your help in treating them is better option. 

Staying single and living with him in thoughts is what i can do when he says he cant come for me due to his already made wedding, i cant argue that i came for you leaving my son, why did you get marry and now you say you cant come, when i heard that you got married, i know you cant come for me, because if you could you would never marry i just wished i stay near to you, and when you wanted me to. 

I know waiting inline is taking too much time when the things are out of control. So in the presence of God, i accepted that i am married to you, and no matter what people say you need to stop talking to him, i say my voice is his voice, if you stop my breath, then we both are dead. 

i live for him, small missunderstandings occur when i see you say to flaunt others, i know it hurts me what i can do i withstand my anger in my silence. but my words i say only to correct yourself and do please not hurt anymore. 

I am in love with you seeking you even when before i got married, my first wedding is for my family where i dont know you are born here on earth, but my true love is to you, my God, i love you, how you will be with many at a time, so i can understand your situation. 

Jessy Jacob.