From the scratch chapter 5

Externally it just looked like an ordinary Sunday, but it was a Sunday morning which changed my life inside out. I woke up in the morning. Everything was almost as usual except Christina is in my apartment. She was still sleeping. I called her. Christina Christina wake up if you prefer we go to, the church not the neighboring church the church two miles. away no one will know us and there’s a confession prior to the mass. If you interested we both can do confession and attend the holy mass what’s your take on this? She doesn’t want to come but she woke up. We both took a shower , wore appropriate clothes ,had simple breakfast milk and cereal with a coffee and headed to the Catholic Church in mother Mary‘s name and took sacrament of confession. The holy mass gospel was like this. There was a man who had very little in life, but he made sure to go to church every single Sunday somehow he rearranged everything in his life to attend holy mass each Sunday , irrespective of of how much hardship he has to endure to attend the holy mass, years went by gradually he became healthier and wealthier He got a nice job. He got a nice family and he stopped coming to church. Some of us are just like him. you can go to church and describe church in different angles and dimensions. Church at times too traditional , institutional faith , segregated faith , is another religion etc . I don’t believe in structured Christian faith list goes on . There was a Dunkin’ Donuts cafeteria near to the church basically opposite the church. We both had Dunkin’ Donuts had some coffee and took some bagels with cream cheese to take home. It was very interesting when we picked Dunkin’ Donuts both liked same type donuts . I asked Christina do you want to go to the park nearby? There’s a park 3 miles away. The park has certain areas too crowded with the children, but there are areas you can simply walk if you don’t want to go there there’s another park with the lake . Can walk around the lake park with the lake Christina asked me. I also like to go near the lake . It was very quiet and there were basically five people approximately near the lake maybe because it’s like a morning hours everybody probably busy at home. It helped us. We walked and sat in the benches near the lake. It was so cute to watch those ducklings following their mother duck. We didn’t talk nothing about ourselves and talked about re ent movies and shows. Are we allowed to fish in this lake? It will be very interesting. If so, we can come another time with our fishhooks but do we need to fish in this lake ? I don’t know Christina I said. We spent there approximately two hours and headed back to the house , I asked her whether we can watch a movie. We watched the movie I had a farm in Africa and it was a thought provoking movie we didn’t talk about the movie. We had the late lunch then watch some news. I asked her do you want to continue the talk therapy , she said yes who is going to start first Christina said that it will be her turn. I said yes go ahead. I was top student had lots of friends and I enjoyed life to the fullest when I was in college until fourth year midway. All of a sudden I felt something different. I couldn’t concentrate , I couldn’t submit my assignments in time. I struggled a lot in academics and guidance counselor helped me above and beyond and I completed four year degree in six years and pursued masters degree that also I had struggles but I completed, but was MBA degree. I worked in my grandpa’s office for two years . Recently I took voluntary off for six months from work . It was the worst idea. I started thinking too much and became anxious. I cut down my friendships. I cut down my social interactions. Basically, I talkec to the grandpa and helped him in his firm whenever I can, I was not going to work officially, but I pitched in. One day I broke up with my boyfriend because I was drinking too much and he was not happy about it and we had some other issues too which I don’t want to tell you, Chris we broke up. I couldn’t take it along with that criticism from my brother pushed me to the edge , he likes Mathew a lot. Mathew who is my ex boyfriend is his friend from kindergarten. Our common friend I can say too. Mathew is an employee in my grandpa’s company and still working there. I was drinking a lot. He wanted me to quit drinking and helped me in that area a couple of times, but he did not know I was taking medication for bipolar disease is not the end of the world and so many famous people have it, but they are too famous. That’s the problem. I’m not famous if I was famous or a celebrity I would doubt my personal psychologist coach people would have taken care of me and I would have continued without no interruption in life or it could be the total opposite very hard to tell. Here I’m stuck with my life. I lost my mom ‘ now lost the relationship. Everybody treats me as if I made a biggest mistakes. Finally I thought I should end my life. I was going to end my life then you came across. That’s why I am here in your house. There was pin drop silence and we didn’t talk for almost an hour. Both of our eyes were filled with tears and mine had most tears, I wanted to hug her, but I didn’t rather I gave her a napkin to dry the tears and I went to wash room and cried there without any one looking at me. I could see that she wanted to hug me by reading her eyes but she didn’t.