My Dear Friends.

This is a performance task for my English subject. The requirements were 4 lines, 4 stanzas, and with rhyming words. This is one of my first few poems, so feedback/criticism is welcome & appreciated.

I've gotten a lot of friends,
Not all of them stayed till the end.
At least I had fun,
Before the friendship was dissolved, done.

I have a couple of friends now, not a lot.
We are like two lines hugging, forming a tight knot.
Like strong magnets connecting together, hard to separate,
Like this was chosen by fate.

Tiff and Jill, just to name a few,
We are mutual friends, like a crew.
We were once classmates in big schools,
Now we are separated by two different gates.

I had yet to make new companions.
I'm quite shy, this is like crossing the grand canyon.
A long, careful journey.
I hope the way isn't stormy.

Reviews

[Neha agrawal]

This is a heartfelt and honest reflection on the ebb and flow of friendship. There’s a gentle sincerity in your words — the kind that comes from lived experience.

[oven]

Thank you!

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

Your poem really captures the genuine ups and downs of friendship in a way that feels honest and relatable. That metaphor of "two lines hugging, forming a tight knot" is lovely and shows you're thinking creatively about how to describe relationships. You've done well structuring it according to the requirements while telling a complete story about friendship through time.

The rhythm gets a bit wobbly in places, and some rhymes like "companions/grand canyon" feel stretched. The line "Now we are separated by two different gates" is a bit unclear too. Instead of the companions/grand canyon pairing, you might try something like "Making new friends feels quite hard / I'm quite shy, always on guard" which keeps your meaning but flows more naturally.

Try reading your poems aloud as you write them to catch where the rhythm stumbles. Don't be afraid to rework lines if the rhyme is forcing you into awkward phrasing. Your authentic voice about the challenges and joys of friendship is what makes this poem work. That honesty combined with your willingness to experiment with metaphors shows real potential.

Well done. AP x.

[oven]

The gates line is only understandable if you lived near here, since most schools have gates here, so it's kinda like symbolism for like saying we're at different schools. Thank you on the criticism on the companions / grand canyon pairing, rhyming in poems and the rhythm in poems are always tricky for me.

[oven]

I just realized schools and gates doesn't rhyme, that was an accident lol, how do u feel about this ? "We were once classmates in a big school,
Now separated by two gates, this feels cruel."

[Fishysua]

Welcome to writing

I appreciate that you are not trying to impress with a fancy vocabulary and I think you do well at avoiding needless repetition

Your structure can use some work, this seems like it would benefit from a revision or two, but only if that process is something you are ready to learn from

Be more active in your metaphors, you started here and I’m glad you didn’t overdo it. You can make them more concrete and more emotive

[oven]

Thank you!