Chapter Five

Chapter Five

I let out a small gasp, my eyes fixed in wonder at the water surrounding me. A small, tingling feeling has filled my entire body. I must not have noticed it earlier… I reach out to touch the water, but right as I do, it collapses upon me and slinks back into the river. I lift my head slightly to see Vex, Maryn, and Leon staring right back at me.

“Oh my gosh,” Vex breathes out, “You’re a water elementalist.”

Maryn starts turning around to the door, “I’m going to find Dad.”

She runs to the door and starts bolting down the hallway, disappearing out of my view. I don’t have a chance to ask her who her dad is. My mouth doesn’t seem to work, my surprise seemingly plugging my throat. All I can think is: They weren’t lying or trying to trick me. Magical powers actually exist… How can this be real?

I look down at my hands, slight tingling still left in my body. It feels so… natural. Like I was born knowing how to do this and never knew my potential. I space out slightly, just having no thoughts.

“Now do you believe me?” Leon whispers, his voice shaking from surprise.

I don’t answer, still staring silently at the ground. If they’re telling the truth about the powers, were they telling the truth about the war?

“You do know how rare this is, right?” Vex asks.

I look up at him, confused, “What do you mean?”

“Controlling the elements… It’s only ever happened twice in our history. One was an air elementalist, another an earth elementalist,” he says with wonder, gazing at me, “And now, I guess, you are the third.”

I look at him, surprise and confusion still swirling in my head.

He shakes his head, “Whoa, I sound like my dad�" Look, your power just isn’t ever seen. You got your powers, that’s all. Nothing special. The same as anybody else.”

I sigh and say with difficulty, “Look, no offense, but I really don’t want to talk right now. So…”

“Oh, yeah, no worries,” he says with a smirk, “I’ll leave you with your brother then. That’ll be a lot better if you’re not wanting to talk with people.”

I feel as if he stabbed me in the heart. Leon… I never did think about how I would continue with him. And… Leon was right. And I was wrong… Realization pulses through me as I try to think things through. How do I say that to my younger brother? That the sister he depends on… isn’t always right. I can see him barely shuffling in front of me, clearly uncomfortable. I need to say… well, something.

I look down shamefully and whisper, “I’m so sorry, Leon… I just… don’t know what to do. I know I’m not always right, and it’s very obviously apparent right now, but you have to understand: I don’t know what I’m doing either. I don’t know how I can lead you… I just have to choose something and hope that I was right. I can’t tell the difference between right or wrong anymore… all I can hope is that I roll the dice right. It’s a gamble with every decision I make… and somehow we’ve made it out so far. I just…” I take a deep breath, “I just hope you can forgive me. Because I don’t even know how I’ll deal with this now,” I look down at my hands, rubbing them softly, “These new powers that I have… I don’t even know what to think about them. Are they a danger to everyone? Or a blessing? I have so many thoughts swirling around my head and I just can’t think for what we should do next. I know just how much I lead you, Lemon, but�"”

A massive hug crushes me as Leon buries his head into my neck. Surprise and shock burn my eyes until I can’t see through the tears as I sit there, stunned.

“You’re perfect, Rose,” Leon whispers, “I know you don’t know everything, but I’m here for you. You don’t have to be sorry… for anything. I’m your brother, and we’ll work things out… together.”

Pure pride emanates from me as I hug him tighter. He’s right: We will make it through this. And I can still lead us. I just need to keep my head above the water. I take a shaky breath as I finally let go of him.

“Thanks, Lemon,” I smile, “I really needed that. More than you can ever know.”

He innocently smiles back at me, his blue eyes now shining in the light. How could I have never noticed how happy he is here? Not just being here… but being here with me?

He sits down beside me, “So… you can control water… that’s so cool�"”

I smile back, “Yeah? Did you end up finding your powers?”

His smile fades slightly and he looks away. Immediate shame fills me as I gaze at him.

“Oh, Leon,” I say, “It’s alright, you’ll get your powers another day�"”

He shakes his head, “No, no… It’s not that,” he takes a deep breath, “I… can read minds, apparently. I’m a telepath.”

“Leon… that’s amazing!!” I say with excitement and pride.

“It’s… really not that good. Definitely not as good as yours or Vex’s or Maryn’s…” he mumbles to himself.

“Of course it is,” I say with confusion, “Why would you think it’s not good?”

“It’s just stupid, that’s all,” he says quickly, not looking at me.

I’m about to argue when I hear the doors open and someone panting. I resist the urge to get up and run away, because I know who it is: Larry. At this point, I make up my mind that even if I still go with what this organization stands for, I’ll still hate him. I think practically everyone hates him.

He claps his hands, “Aha!! An elementalist. This’ll be fantastic for the army!”

I want to puke.

“Well, Miss Hicks, let’s see these powers!” he says with a huge smile that spans cheek to cheek.

Maryn frowns, “Dad, she just discovered them. She probably doesn’t even know how she did it�"”

“Nonsense,” he says, still wearing a big smile, “She can do it, can’t you Miss Hicks?”

Fear and embarrassment fill my cheeks as I try to hide my hatred for him. I just got these powers, what does he expect me to do?

His smile turns to a suspicious frown, “You can do it, can’t you? Maryn never disturbs me, especially when I’m working. This isn’t one of your generations’�" oh what’s the word�" pranks, right?”

“Of course I can,” I snap unwillingly.

“Well, then show me what you can do!” he laughs.

I take a frustrating sigh in. How do I say no to the person controlling my freedom and future? I turn toward the river, anger still filling me as I try to calm it down. If I can just prove to him I can do it, perhaps he’ll leave me alone. But he promised that last time, how can I trust him? And what if I can’t do it? What will he do to me if he doesn’t believe that I can do it?

Shut up. Just… concentrate. I take a deep breath, then move my hand toward the water. I close my eyes and concentrate, trying to feel the tingling sensation again. But to my surprise, nothing happens. Water doesn’t magically cling to me, and no tingling. I open my eyes as I stare at the water. Why isn’t it working? I put my hand in the water, trying to feel it out. Feel the calm again. Except… nothing happens. I scrunch my nose a little, frustration filling me again. What’s happening? Why can’t I control the water? I can feel everyone’s eyes staring me down and immediate fear replaces my frustration.

“Come on, you got this,” I mutter to myself as I swish my hand through the water, scoop a little, and hold it up.

I stare down the water, almost as if I’m intimidating it. I’ve got to do something to prove I can bend it. I hold up my other hand near the water and “pinch” the water. If I can just pick it up, maybe that’s impressive enough…

I lift my fingers up, cautiously so as not to drop the water. To my relief, the water barely dangles between my two fingers.

“I did it,” I say, my voice shaking slightly from the relief dripping off of me.

“Excellent! This power will be amazing for battle strategy. We can definitely use this,” he says cheerfully.

I scowl, “I still haven’t decided on that. You said you’d give me time to think, and I haven’t had time yet. So if you’ll please not assume things that I can or cannot do, I’d greatly appreciate it.”

I give him a bright fake smile and then whip my head as I face toward the river. I let myself smirk as I feel the fury immediately emanating from him. I hear a stifled snicker come from Vex, and I quickly zip my head around to him. Does he actually agree with me?

He frowns at me, “What?”

I feel heat rise to my cheeks, “Oh, uh, nothing…”

“That’s dang right nothing! You don’t talk like that to me, I’m your�"” he stops himself, then replaces the word quickly, “�"leader! I get to make the orders here because those orders keeps the world from dying! Are you really not going to fight because you simply know people there?! Sacrifices must be made in order to get through this war, Miss Hicks, and if you’re too selfish to kill a few people, then by all means let the world continue to be at war! How many other lives will be lost if you don’t help us win this war?”

I feel my eyes burn, but I refuse to cry, “THOSE ARE MY COMRADES! People I would die for to keep them alive! I only just got here and I still don’t even know what you’re talking about! You haven’t told me anything and now you expect me to blindly kill people!” I take a shaky breath, “I’m not as strong as you expect me to be. I’m not some mass murderer… When it came to it in my training, I never was able to shoot those actual prisoners. I just… couldn’t. I kept seeing them as people like me. I couldn’t get it out of my head… That’s why I wasn’t like my dad, I never had the guts to do what he did. And now you expect me to start killing everyone I know? I couldn’t kill a stranger for heaven’s sake! I just can’t do what you want me to do. And I mean, I know you’re not lying about things anymore, that much I know, but that doesn’t mean you can’t be wrong about some things. No one’s that perfect. So… tell me why. Why do innocent people have to die?”

He looks down at me as if I’m a stupid child, “They’re not innocent! They’ve all committed murder and have been at war with people! They chose their side, and we chose ours! They killed my wife, all the way across the sea. They weren’t even defending themselves, they just wanted to viciously kill people to get what they want�"”

“And isn’t that what you’re doing right now?” I shout, “You’re killing people who didn’t choose their side, they were forced into it since birth! You can’t just blame them for everything that went wrong in your life and immediately give them a death sentence!”

He still looks at me with fury, but I can see a little hesitance in his eyes. I caught him in a sensitive spot and a small amount of pity fills my chest before I shove it away. He doesn’t deserve my pity, he deserves to understand the consequences. And I can’t make him understand if I start to feel bad for him.

I take a deep breath, “You’ll never get me to fight innocent people.”

He sighs, pinching his nose, “We’re not attacking your entire country! We’re attacking the government.”

I stop short as the words I was about to say flee out of my mouth. Flustered, I say, “The government…? Like…” my eyes widen, “President Cryptis?”

He nods, “Yes, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you.”

I pause as I try to think. My whole life… President Cryptis has always stood as a symbol of hope. A way for our country to be free from this war. But now… I twirl my hair. Is he really the villain of all this? He couldn’t have started the war, could he? No, he can’t. I always see him on the digital reporters, he always had this, this essence of good you could feel immediately as he came on screen. His smile would brighten up the room as he announced the latest victory of the war. He was always so calm, even when we had lost the Battle of the Cryptis Channel. He always brought hope to everyone. Is all that wrong?

Vex’s eyes glide over to me, seeming to read my expression, and lets out a frustrated sigh, “She doesn’t know, which means…”

“A lesson on history,” Larry says with a smile as Maryn and Vex groan.

“I just had to open my mouth,” I hear Vex mutter under his breath.

Larry gives a disappointed look at Vex, then turns to Leon, “You’ll probably want to sit down for this. It’s going to take a while.”

“Andddd I’m out,” Vex announces, heading quickly toward the door.

“Oh, no you’re not,” Larry says sternly, “You can brush up on the history as well,” he turns to Maryn, “Maryn, if you wish, you may go now. You have been doing very well studying your history.”

I see embarrassment fill her face as she looks over to Vex, then quickly says, “No, I’m fine.”

An unease fills me as I look between the two, but I try to ignore it. It’s not my duty to fix other family issues when I have issues of my own to attend to.

I get comfortable on the soft, green grass before Larry clears his throat and begins, “This country wasn’t always called Cryptis. It had an old name, England. And, as I’m pretty sure you’re aware, President Cryptis wasn’t always the president. Before he took control, he was just another common citizen in this country. There weren’t even presidents at that time. There used to be kings and queens of this country, and they were fair and honest with their people. The greatest was Queen Mary, queen only twenty-five years ago,” he looks into the distance, almost not talking to us anymore, “But unfortunately, her years as queen did not last long. The countries around England had been slowly, but steadily becoming Democratic. They had the freedom to vote in whoever they sought best to be in charge. That was a luxury the English did not have. They had brought it up to the queen, who unfortunately made the decision to decline the suggestions. That would be her downfall. The people started getting more enraged, practically demanding her to step down. But she wouldn’t budge. Whether she was afraid what they would do without her or if she simply didn’t want to go Democratic, we will never know. The English attacked the palace one night, killing the queen and everyone there. No one survived,” he paused, “After that, things should have gotten better. It should have picked itself up, just as all the other countries did. But it didn’t. President Cryptis was voted in, expected to stay in office for five years,” he smiles bitterly, “Of course, that didn’t happen.

“Cryptis saw that his newborn country was extremely vulnerable to any attacks that may come to it. He feared greatly for this, and did discuss this with all the other political leaders, who assured him it would not happen. No one had even thought of war for fifty years, so why start now? Cryptis always thought they were lying though, and thought all the countries would soon come against him,” he takes a deep breath, “Of course, this isn’t bad. All countries worry about war. The problem with Cryptis is he decided that, before all the other countries attacked him, he would attack them. However, he did know that the greater public of the country would not agree with this. So he devised a plan: He would make up a battle and display it on national tv as evidence of a war.

“Of course, he needed to tell very few people of his plan, so he secretly hired actors to act as if in an actual battle. The actors believed it to simply be a movie scene, and didn’t realize what they were doing. Once the film had been recorded, the President immediately ordered for anyone in the project to be murdered, so as not to spread the news,” he paused, “A few escaped to bordering countries and tried to inform them of the terrible plan, but it was too late. The President had already released the information to the public as factual, and the people were too gullible to question if it was a lie. They immediately reacted, practically begging Cryptis to declare war,” he narrows his eyes, adding sarcastically, “And him, being the amazing President he was, accepted the demands. He immediately declared war on the whole world, quickly recruiting the people to “protect their country.” That’s when he started mildly suggesting for the children to start training, since they made up quite a bit of the population. Although the parents worried about their children’s well-beings, they agreed. Of course, the children were just as excited to defend their country. Almost immediately, Scotland was taken over in just a few months�"”

“Wait, what’s Scotland?” I ask.

Larry looks confused, but then realization brightens in his eyes, “Right… you don’t even know what Scotland is…” he mutters, almost to himself, “It’s the country we’re in right now. Or at least, it was. Now it’s just another addition to Cryptis,” he spits the last part out angrily, shocking me, before he regained his composure, “But, as I was saying, they quickly took over Scotland. Thankfully, however, since quite literally the entire world is against him, he hasn’t advanced any farther. All thanks to the English Channel, or, I guess from what you’ve learned, the Cryptis Channel. Which brings me to the renaming of England. Cryptis, of course, is too much of a narcissist to not have the country named after him. He proposed a vote to the public, trying to insert the logic that “the country needed to start anew,” but that’s just the nonsense he came up with. They, like sheep, agreed to the new name. Cryptis also observed how small of a population they had as an actual fighting force and knew they wouldn’t stand a chance against the whole world. He then had the brilliant idea to start enlisting the children to battle,” he says in disgust, “He started with just simply inserting them in the army, but since they had no training, it proved futile. He was easily frustrated and decided that, for the sake of the country, the children could sacrifice their early years in order to train for the army.

“But, as I’m sure you know, these “early years” turned into a child’s whole life being taken away from them. No longer could they choose what they could do in the future, they had to be part of the army,” he shakes his head, tears filling his eyes, “They turned their own children into brainwashed monsters,” he turns to me and Leon, “Excluding present company, of course.”

I frown and resist the urge to childishly stick out my tongue at him, “So, how do we fit into this?”

He smiles at me kindly, “You can owe all that to your parents.”

A confused feeling comes over me as I look at Larry, “What do you mean?”

“Your parents were some of the most key spies we had in your society,” he explains, acknowledging Leon as well, “They were extremely trusted because of their history and made incredible sources of information.”

“But… I-I don’t understand,” I stammer, “My dad… he fought in the wars. He killed a lot of people. How could he do that… knowing that he was killing innocent people?”

Visions of my father, so rare and precious, fill my memories. His heroic stories of battle, keeping me in suspense every day. His big, strong hugs that made me feel like everything was going to be okay. Him showing me how to c**k my gun when I struggled. How could he do all that without telling me? He let me believe that all those people deserved what they got… A suppressed sob comes out of me as I remember his voice mimicking a gun in those stories he told me. Bang. Bang. Bang. 

Larry grimaces, “Yes, that it the unfortunate side effect of infiltrating the army. He couldn’t keep up the illusion he was on their side without doing his job,” he shakes his head, “Sometimes he would set up secret meetings with us, just to say he couldn’t do it anymore. Some of those people he killed had been his friends, his allies. But we assured him it was all for a good cause, that�"” he voice chokes, “�"that it was the only way to keep up the illusion,” he shuts his eyes, “And then he had to go and get caught.”

My blood chills, “What do you mean? He was killed in battle…”

Larry looks at me sympathetically, “No… that was a lie. Just a story so the government could keep the actual murder a secret,” he pauses as if he considers not telling me, but a stern look makes him quickly change his mind, “Your father always took great care to not talk about anything private in front of the cameras. He was very good at keeping our secrets. But…” he bites his lip, “he was breaking. He was interrogating a prisoner he had captured from a battle. His commanding officer told your father to kill him because the prisoner had no useful information. Your father couldn’t do it. He had killed so many people, he simply couldn’t handle it anymore. Of course, his commanding officer still killed the subject, but the suspicion was set. There was no avoiding it now. We told him to get out of there, that his cover had been blown. But he had shook his head, he wanted to protect you two. He didn’t want you to have to get into this. He wanted you to have a normal life,” silence fills the air, suffocating me, before he whispers, “And then he was killed.”

The day the official gave us the grave news overwhelms me. That’s why my mom was so rushed. Why it had seemed so sudden to me. There shouldn’t have been a battle that day, it would have been on the news. He had been murdered. To protect his family… To protect Leon. To protect me.

I look at Leon as his eyes fill with understanding and glances back at me for confirmation. I look at him sorrowfully, sympathy immediately rising in me. He’s still just a kid. I grew up with mum and dad, and he won’t. He won’t have a mom to tuck him into bed at night, giving him a kiss on the forehead that he gags at. He won’t have a dad coming home at night to give him a fist bump and ruffle his hair. He’ll only have me. I’ll have to be the parent for him.

“Well,” Larry says, clearing his throat, “now that we know your powers, we can get back to business.”

I try to cover up a scowl, but fail. Not more training…

“But first,” he says, interrupting my thoughts, “it’s time for dinner!”

My stomach rumbles, a reminder that I still haven’t eaten anything. Relief floods me as I also realize I don’t have to train. Well, at least for now. I move to grab Leon’s hand for comfort, but instead I find myself staring after him as he walks with Vex and Maryn. A dull ache slowly rises in me as I get up to follow them. So much for trying to comfort him… 

I jog a little to catch up as I try to pretend I was walking with them the entire time. Maryn looks back at me and gives me a little smile, inviting me to join them. Almost a sigh of relief leaves me as I move beside her, taking my spot in the little huddle of people I might now call my friends.

~ • • • ~

With my first experience of the empty cafeteria, I am surprised to learn how busy it is now. The once empty tables are now filled with people. They lively talk to one another, laughing and enjoying their company. I squash down the sudden urge to stay there forever. For what reason, I don’t think I’ll ever know.

Maryn and Vex lead us to the food bar as people start to notice us. The lively chatter starts to die down, replaced by whispers and rumors. I catch phrases here or there, questions of the new recruits. Us. I wrap my arms around myself, hoping to feel my mother’s arms in my own. An uncomfortable feeling rises in me, but I try to ignore it. They’re just curious, that’s all. I would be too if I were in their spots.

Maryn holds out a tray to me, and my childhood instincts take over. It’s just like school. Grab tray, grab food, put your head down. There’s nothing different. She gestures to the bar of food that I had previously seen empty. To my surprise, the bars aren’t just filled with our necessary nutrients. I expected oatmeal, not a special occasion. Turkey, chicken, potatoes, gravy, green beans… Where did they get all this stuff? There are many types of food I don’t recognize, one of them being a crusted dessert with some sort of orange filling.

I freeze in my spot, overwhelmed by the choices. 

Maryn looks at me strangely, “What is it?”

“Where did you guys get this stuff… These are only for special occasions�"” I ask in amazement.

She eyebrows crinkle, “Do you guys not have meat or vegetables in Cryptis?”

I shake my head, “Only at weddings or birthdays. And even those are for the rich military veterans. Usually we only have oatmeal with the nutrients we need…”

Maryn frowns, glancing back at the food. She moves her arm decidingly, grabbing a piece of the orange dessert, and puts it on my plate.

“Have you ever tried pumpkin pie before?”

I look at my plate, so that’s what it was, “Can’t say I have…”

She smiles, “You better try it. It’s delicious.”

I tentatively lift my fork as I move to a table. Cutting the pie into a little bite, I lift it to my mouth and take a bite. A little sweet and spicy, with a slight, warm spice tickling my tongue. It’s unlike anything I ever tasted. Not as good as a slice of cake, but still pleasant.

I turn to Maryn and beam, “Not too bad.”

She laughs and looks at Leon, “Your brother seems to enjoy it just a bit more than you do.”

I look at Leon and start laughing too. He’s scarfing that thing down. He looks up and starts laughing, his mouth still full. I don’t ever remember being this joyful at a dinner before.

I eat the rest of my food as Maryn, Vex, and Leon talk. I’m fine with just listening to them and enjoying the meal. Content fills in me since the first time I got here.

~ • • • ~

I get into bed, for the first time feeling the softness of it. I finger the sheets, rubbing them in between my fingers. They’re a lot thicker than my ones at home. 

I grimace as I remember my room. Not of the memories, of course, I love that bedroom. It’s the fact I’ll most likely never see it again. I’ll probably never see my house again.

A tear falls down my cheek, surprising me. I touch it gingerly, picking it up and wiping it on my sheets. I shouldn’t be focused on a stupid room. I look around. I guess this is my room now. A lone window is right next to me, shining the moonlight onto my bedsheets. My room feels peaceful.

Maryn had led me to bed, convincing me to take a glass of water with me. You’ve gotta drink at least some water. She had said to me.

I scooch the glass closer to me and stare at the water. It’s peaceful, just like everything else. But it feels like it has more of a… comfort to it. It feels it has all the answers in the world right in it. And I can’t access them. A longing fills in me until I remember why it feels this way. It felt this way in the creek as well. When I tried to…

I squeeze together my eyes, blocking out the memory. How can something so beautiful be so deadly? I hesitantly open my eyes again, the water still in front of me. I look at my hands, the hands that controlled that water. In that moment, the water wasn’t controlling me. It was helping me as I controlled it. A powerful feeling comes to me as I realize it. It can’t control me like before, I can make it do whatever I want.

I raise my hand slightly, fingers dancing over the cup. What a power I have… this beautiful and deadly power.

Slowly, very slowly, I lift the water again.

Author's Note

FINALLY FINISHED THIS CHAPTER WOOHOO!!

Hope yall enjoy it :D (kinda a short chapter just shhhhh)