The Fight

Here is a link to my you tube channel where I read my poetry. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz70MOS_JX8

We became friends later.
On that day we were
combatants.
Two kids trying to
prove their manhood.

I circled left, shot a quick
jab.
I missed and Doug laughed.
He hit me fast with a right.
Laughed again.

I circled right, this time my
jab landed.
There was a gush of
blood from his nose.
He wiped at it, and said,

My f*****g sister hits
harder than that.
I hit him again.

I'll bet she doesn't hit
harder than that, I said.
You'd lose that bet, Doug said.

Mr Jester came running out of
his house.
You boys quit fighting and shake
hands right now...I want you to
say something nice about each other.
He motioned towards me.

Well, Sir, Doug here has a tough sister.
She hits harder than most boys,
at least that's what I heard.
Doug grinned.

Oh, a regular Marciano, huh Doug?

Oh yes, sir.
She can be a real mean b***h when she
wants to be.

Mr Jester said,
Hey, watch your language you
little degenerate.
Who do you think you are,
John Dillinger?
Doug muttered some
sort of apology.

Go on, the old man said, it's
your turn.
"Tommy boy here has a
great curve ball.
He got five strikeouts last week."

"Hey, that's great son, you gonna be
in the major leagues when you grow up?"
Yes, Sir, I said.

Someone was mowing their lawn, and
the smell of fresh-cut grass filled the air.
We were young, green, and tough.

"How about you son, do you want to play
in the big leagues too?"  Jester asked.
Doug grinned.
"No sir, baseball isn't my thing.
When I get older, I'd like to screw one of
your daughters."

Doug took off running.
He ran track for the team.
100-yard dash if I remember right.
I could hear Mr. Jester just
barely over the lawn mower.
Come here you rotten little
son of a b***h.

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cz70MOS_JX8
Here is a link to my you tube channel where I read my poetry from my latest book, Sleep Always Calls, available on Amazon. My other books, Seedy Town Blues Collected Poems and It's Just a Hop, Skip, and Jump to the Madhouse are on Amazon too.
#www.thomaswcase.com

Reviews

[red93]

Remembering some Prep School Fights - and some of those guys are big names now - shockingly enough ! A laugh a minute this piece Thomas. Exceptional ✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you, my friend. I appreciate it.

[red93]

✨️✨️✨️✨️✨️

[Michael Sun Bear]

Great story Thomas. The punch line took me by surprise, had me smiling. I am still a fan!

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you so much.

[abbypullanlitandpoetry]

This poem has brilliant dialogue that feels completely authentic - the way these kids talk, especially Doug's increasingly outrageous responses to Mr Jester, captures that specific boyhood bravado perfectly. The ending is also fantastic - Doug's final comment and his sprint away is hilarious and perfectly in character, and that detail about him running track makes it even funnier because you know he's going to get away with it.
The main thing to work on is the spacing and line breaks. Right now it reads more like prose chopped up, when it could really benefit from more intentional breaks that highlight the rhythm of the conversation and the key moments. For example, separating out some of those quick exchanges or giving space around the punchlines could make the comedy and tension land even harder.

But honestly, the voice and storytelling here are spot on - you've created this whole world and these characters so vividly that I can picture the entire scene. That's the hardest part of writing and you've nailed it.

[Thomas W Case]

Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Insults turning into fisticuffs...that lawn mower needs to be louder so the words aren't heard, or distorted enough to be compliments.

[Thomas W Case]

Lol Thanks

[John the Baptist]

Ah, the teenage years. I can recall fights such as this, contests to save face. Mr. Jester's discomfiture at the end is funny. It seems Doug wasn't the only one who needed to watch their language.

[Thomas W Case]

lol. Good times. Thank you.