I still Struggle because i have to.....

I am living my life without wasting a single minute, so that I do not look back one day with regret that I wasted my time. I constantly try to improve myself so I do not fall behind in life. I work hard to use my time wisely, so that when I reflect on my journey, I can honestly say I did the best I could.

I am learning new skills because I have a son to take care of and to secure his future. Like my Appa who worked hard and sacrificed for his children, I too feel responsible to build a stable life. If I sit idle and spend my time only watching television or entertainment, I may end up with nothing, not even money for basic needs, and I may have to depend on others even for medicine when I fall sick.

I want to become burden-free and make my son happy, especially as he carries emotional pain from his stepmother. So I rise every day and work hard so that I can live peacefully and sit for dinner with my family without fear or helplessness. I do not want to ever be in a position where I have to beg anyone for help, even in sickness.

I have learned to take care of myself. Even when people hurt me and I feel mentally exhausted, I try to heal myself and continue surviving. I have become my own strength, like a doctor who tries to cure his own pain.

I have realized that people may blame you or walk away, and not everyone is willing to help unless there is something in return. So I have chosen to believe in myself. I work and struggle so that my troubles reduce, and at least I have a home to live in and food to survive.

Even though I have family who could support me, I do not want to depend on them. That is why I do not waste even a single minute. I work in whatever way I can, even if it seems small or insignificant to others. I continue studying and building my future, even when the path is difficult.

I keep telling myself that I can survive this pain. I know I have to. Even when people hurt me, curse me, or try to block my path with obstacles, I stand firm and continue moving forward so that my son, my husband, and I can be safe and well.

Jessy Jacob

---